THE BLOG

I Don't Have a Cause

17/03/2014 14:00 GMT | Updated 16/05/2014 10:59 BST

I don't have a cause and it feels slightly problematic.

By cause, I mean a thing that happens, exists or acts in such a way that something specific happens as a result. I am not a producer of an effect and further to this I'm not apart of a community.

I have this terrible notion that it makes me a bad person. Does it?

To examine my seemingly terrible nature, I look to my immediate connections. My Mother, for example, is a business mentor, one of those wonderfully wise beings that strives to gives advice and guidance to young business owners - thus a cause. My Brother, younger than me, volunteered at a local charity for a number of dedicated years. I have friends who run youth theatre, drama clubs; are apart of political parties, religious entities, local choirs, running clubs and other such societies - I am not.

I am gay but, as much as people perceive it to be, I don't believe my sexuality to be a cause - it's just who I am. Admittedly, I thought 'being gay' was a cause for a long while however Soho, Grindr and other such ridiculous nonsenses have proved it otherwise.

I am a playwright, which, gives one the perfect platform to air ones views on the world and consequently set the motions for change. I have done no such thing. I have written 'gay-plays' (which, by the way, is the worst term in all of theatre - I may as well of said 'Pantomime') but they are stories of lives rather than catalysts for actions. If someone feels strongly about a story, or a play, that as a result causes them to act than that is their prerogative but I will have had no part. I have written about suicide but nothing happens. I've written about women but nothing happens. I've written about love but nothing happens - I realise I'm making my plays sound really intriguing.

I look at my favourite playwright, Alan Bennett, and see 'cause' in his works. Is The History Boys a statement of the problems within the British education system? Possibly, or am I analysing the play too much? Is it, in fact, a story and just that. His 2013 diary is well-stocked of comments regarding a flailing Tory government. Do his works influence people? I'd say so. Do we come out of plays feeling changed? This is analysis leads me to the conclusion that I am just a bad playwright - which is off-point.

My point, however elaborately I am trying to make it, is that I make no effort to do something good and it troubles me that I don't feel I should. Since moving away from London I've been less than sociable but I do feel I need to do something of value to someone else.

But further to this, should artists have causes? Does it make stronger art? Yes, I think so.

Thinking about it, maybe I do have a cause - To point out my own, and others, continuous failures. Unsurprisingly, Human behaviour is a common theme in my plays - could I change people? No.

A cause. One would argue that a cause will result in any change, but will anything? Perhaps one should look to purpose, instead.