Christmas is truly a wonderful time to share with friends and family and for many that time involves eating, drinking and much merriment.
And because of the merriment, frivolities and those somewhat potentially embarrassing Christmas parties, that it's a pertinent a time of year to remind everyone that the best way to enjoy celebrations, and your dram, is also to sip and savour your drink.
In fact, I'm writing a letter to Santa this year to advise him on how he should stay safe whilst making his perilous journey across the globe. Did you know he has over 212,030,000 miles to cover on Christmas Eve at a speed of 650 miles per second -that's way faster than our Formula One Global Whisky Ambassador Paul Di Resta travels! And with just over 700,000,000 children to visit, Santa could be drinking up to 233,000,000 units of alcohol in the space of one night, as generous parents leave him a dram.
Even with his special powers - and presumably magic metabolism - Old St Nick needs to set an example and be careful as us ordinary festive revelers, which is why I've written him a letter with some responsible Christmas advice. After all, the only one who's meant to have a red nose at Christmas-time is Rudolph!
1. Nobody knows how you manage to get around the globe in such record time but we do know that if you plan on enjoying a few drams whilst you take a spin around the world, then bring Mrs Santa along for the ride. It's not fair that she's hidden away all year, so I'm sure she'd appreciate the change, plus a designated driver is a must to get you home responsibly and safely. After all, you know the saying - the couple that sleighs together, stays together.
2. If you've partaken in a wee whisky at the previous address, make sure to drink soft drinks or water next. Swapping alcohol with non-alcoholic options will keep you hydrated and give you a greater ability to stay alert - which I would think is a must when trying to deliver millions of presents to the right addresses. I'm sure little Johnny wouldn't be best pleased with Malibu Barbie, instead of his longed-for Nerf Alpha Super Soaker gun.
3. Forget the waistband (if pictures of you are to be believed, you might have already done so) and make sure to eat before you hit your sleigh. Scoff as many mince pies as you can along the way - and if in doubt, steal Reindeer's carrot too. Eating something's really important because it cuts down on the alcohol absorbed by the body.
4. You must have been a VERY early adopter of Google Maps - how you've managed to navigate your way around the world so quickly and precisely for so many years will no doubt remain one of life's mysteries. With so many places to go, we're sure you know how important it is to always know exactly where you are but make sure that you have carefully-laid plans (and back-up plans - is there such a thing as a sleigh-taxi service?) for finding your way home safely.
5. Put the sleigh away the next day. We're sure that after you've circumnavigated the globe, the last thing you'll want to do is go for a drive the next day. But, if you do, be absolutely sure that you're not still over-the-limit. A good sleep doesn't necessarily mean that all the alcohol has left your fabulously magic system and for us normal people, it takes the body one hour for every unit of alcohol to leave the body. If in doubt, leave it out.
Whyte & Mackay will post additional tips, not just for Santa but also other Christmas party-goers on its Facebook page
Watch Richard's video to Santa below:
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