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Rima Amin

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Is it Right to Measure Liberation by the Number of People We Have Sex With?

Posted: 22/06/2012 00:00

What does it mean to be a sexually liberated woman in 2012? According to Monday's story in the Daily Mail, sexual liberation can be measured by how many sexual partners a woman can find whilst on holiday.

Focussing on results from a poll held on MissTravel.com, the Daily Mail story highlighted that 10% of women who go on holiday admitted having five or more lovers during a week long break. The CEO of MissTravel.com, Brandon Wade commented on the findings saying: "It is clear that women become much more sexually liberated when they are out of their comfort zone"

Although the statistics foccussed on only 30,000 women, a small proportion of the total women who travel, an immediate train of questionning ran through my mind. It questioned Wade's comment regarding the legitimacy of measuring sexual liberation by the number of people a woman fornicates with whilst on holiday. It endorses the fallacy that us women can somehow "f**k our way to freedom."

So, how can sexual liberation be measured? The concept of liberation is centred around the notion of freedom. In this case, it means the freedom to control who you have sex with. It refers to consciousness, knowing the decisions you wish to make about your body and having the freedom to act upon it.

Each of us have different perspectives, attitudes and desires when it comes to sex. Some wish to pursue their sexual identity with those they feel an emotional connection with whilst others are content in exploring casual sex with one or more partners. Then of course there are those who wish to preserve their sexual identity for their marriage partner, perhaps for religious reasons. These people in their own right are sexually liberated for they are conscious of the reasons for preserving themselves.

Adopting any one of ideologies and defining it as sexual liberation is not progressive. Liberation stands alongside understanding each individuals' right to make their own decisions, regardless if they differ from our own.

Hence it is dangerous to imply sexual liberation can be achieved through promiscuity. If anything, ideology is equally oppressive, just in a more lascivious manner.

Nightclubs and bars were the scene 48% of the men were picked up. Well-known nightclub resorts in Ayia Napa, Ibiza, Magaluf, and Kavos are popular holiday destinations for young women. No doubt this implies that these young women choose to go there out their own free will.

Though initially the idea of a woman my age having more than five sexual partners in a week seemed incomprehensible to me, but at the same time was I really surprised? Inevitably the over-sexualisation of women found everywhere from the lustful perfume advertisements to the third page of the UK's most popular newspaper will have a profound impact.

Ex-Labour MP, Clare Short attempted to pass legislation to remove topless models from newspapers. In 2004 the Sun responded by posting her face on page 3, branding her as "fat and ugly." It is clear that those who try to oppose this sexualisation are ridiculed or labelled prudish.

And it is within this, a stigma can be identified. It says if you do not adhere to this culture, you will be rejected. It is painfully similar to the stigma that used to say, if you have sex, you will be rejected. So can we truly say we live in a sexually liberated society?

 

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What does it mean to be a sexually liberated woman in 2012? According to Monday's story in the Daily Mail, sexual liberation can be measured by how many sexual partners a woman can find whilst on holi...
What does it mean to be a sexually liberated woman in 2012? According to Monday's story in the Daily Mail, sexual liberation can be measured by how many sexual partners a woman can find whilst on holi...
 
 
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01:10 AM on 06/28/2012
Would Claire Short passing legislation to enforce her preferences be an example of "sexual liberation"?

That said, I agree with your general point.
12:09 PM on 06/23/2012
Maybe.
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09:58 AM on 06/23/2012
true sexual liberation comes from the realization that you dont need to shagg everyone
09:13 AM on 06/23/2012
Sex is wonderful when put in Gods place for it, anything outside of this opens you up to world of diseases, unplanned pregnancies, abortions=murders and regret.

When I was younger I uesd to think Mary Whitehouse needed help, now I know that its our society that needs help. Our media is drenched is sexual images.

Its so sad that we live in a society where people are more upset about a person using legal means to minimize the tax they pay, than they are about the over 200 muders=abortions taking place daily. And they have the front to talk about morally wrong or right. This generation has no clue about morals.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Gods own child
Weapons legitimise a regime
11:14 AM on 06/24/2012
These problems you describe are all of choice and are all preventable. Chastity, virginity, fornication and fidelity are all concepts that were born in a world that knew nothing about viruses and bacteria. attempting to exercise control over other people's natural freedoms is tyrannical and immoral (in my view), and morals are simply peoples opinions, everybody has them whether we disagree with them or not. Religion as a stage for moral supremacy is rapidly collapsing.
10:01 AM on 06/25/2012
God made us, the viruses & bacteria that have no place in our bodys.He knows what will help us and what wil damage us and has set before us life and death, its our choice.

I must say that it was mainly the religious people who were mad a Jesus as he exposed the hypocrisy in many of them. Just as with a car we need to consult and adhere to the makers instruction manual. When we disregard the bible we shall bear the reprecutions in our lives, our bodys and in society at large.

People who are in prison also had freedom however they came up against laws of the land wether thy agree with them or not. The very bible people swear upon in a court of law is of a much higher and more serious nature than man made laws.
09:53 PM on 06/22/2012
the self indulgent nonsense at the bottom of the page lol
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jf12
Esta vez saldré como las otras y me escaparé.
07:38 PM on 06/22/2012
No, 48% of the men there were not picked up. Not even close. 48% ofthe women picked up men there.

And yes, the ability to have a higher "number" is the ONLY possible measure of sexual liberation. But that doesn't mean sexual liberration is a good thing.
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vividrick
I came, I saw...I had a cup of tea!
03:54 PM on 06/22/2012
Typical of 'The Sun' to react to Claire Short in that way. Given this rag is apperently the most read newspaper, it reflects society & it's attitutes. But there's a lot more values to credit women in the modern era/liberation than how many people they bed with, empowerment does not necessarily mean being sexually forthright, it's a private matter after all.
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Zurichilux
A liberal conservative controversialist
02:07 PM on 06/22/2012
I dont think liberation really matters for a female. As long as she does what her man says, irons his shirts, regularly makes him sandwiches, agrees to anything in the bedroom and stays in the kitchen, there should be no real issues.
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PhilEssex
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
01:53 PM on 06/22/2012
As long as those take responsibilty and use protection, then go for it, your only young once and both women and men should be treated equally if they choose to 'sleep around'' as I don't think it's fair the women always get slagged off at being 'slappers', men are just as bad.
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Zurichilux
A liberal conservative controversialist
02:18 PM on 06/22/2012
Women get called slappers because they are women. Most men will sleep with any women, and the women who just sleep with anyone do it because they can. women on the other hand have a rep for being picky, and looking more for relationships than sex, and so it makes it more difficult for men to sleep with them. More effort is put in by men than women when it comes to finding someone to have sex with. That is my point. I think that is where this comes from.
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Gods own child
Weapons legitimise a regime
11:56 AM on 06/22/2012
In a world that cripples us with emotional weakness by making us feel useless from birth, particularly women, can anyone be blamed for being sexually strong? I can't see why sex and emotion have to be eternally and inextricably linked, and it appears many others feel the same. If someone is hurt by their partner's 'infidelity', that is because of their own emotional inner weakness and vulnerablity, but this is not the responsibility of their partner, nobody has sovereignty over someone else's body, this is slavery and should be discouraged. In school and society we are taught such concepts as virginity, chastity, fidelity, forincation etc, as though there is something bad about sex, there isn't. STD's can be prevented by condoms these days, and these concepts are already tried and failed. If men and women are only too eager to escape from this, who has a right to oppose them.
A person's needs cannot be fulfilled by one other person, and this includes sex, it is unfair to expect any one other person to be burdoned with this responsibility. We are not beautiful for nothing, and monopolising someone else's body is sexual tyranny. Having sex because you enjoy it is absolutely OK and your own business.
01:54 PM on 06/22/2012
Amen to all of the above!
01:55 PM on 06/22/2012
Also, liberation can be just as much bout choosing not to sleep with people and remain alone. Infact being happy on one's own is tremendously liberating!
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Gods own child
Weapons legitimise a regime
02:09 PM on 06/22/2012
Thanks, BaroqueChick, I absolutely agree with you. Best wishes.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Rima Amin
05:10 PM on 06/22/2012
I agree. Liberation is about consciousness and control. It is achieved by the women being in control of the decisions she makes, regardless of what those decisions may be.
08:36 AM on 06/22/2012
It is true that a womans body belongs to herself and she can do what she wants with it. She also has to look after her emotional well being as well and I wonder how that works if she takes many lovers.
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Zurichilux
A liberal conservative controversialist
02:04 PM on 06/22/2012
Yes I agree, he kitchen is a better place for a woman.
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Nanaama
08:06 AM on 06/22/2012
Not only the Daily Mail is guilty of this misconception that promiscuity equals sexual liberation. The very opinionated feminist website "Jezebel" is a firm advocate of this fallacy. With statements like "I can do with my v****a what I want " or "if a man did it, he would not be judged " The idea that emulating men is a measure for female sexual freedom is just misguided.
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Nanaama
08:22 AM on 06/22/2012
Female sexual freedom was historically restricted by unwanted pregnancies, and of course also by disputed paternity of the ofspring. With the advent of contraception and paternity tests,women are finally free to make their own choices in their sexual behaviour.
06:55 PM on 06/22/2012
I think the point Rima is trying to make is that the "I can do with my vagina what I want" stance taken by Jezebel can and should include doing nothing with it. That 'promiscuity' and chosing not to be promiscuous are equally valid choices. That it is whether or not the woman feels empowered to make the choice for herself (rather than being unduly influenced by society's expectations/the media/family attitudes/whatever) that is the key determiner in whether a woman is sexually liberated. As such there's nothing neccessarily contradictory between what Jezebel and Rima have said.

Incidentally, why on earth did you feel the need to censor the word 'vagina'? It's an accurate medical term, and this treatment of it as though it were taboo only feeds into the ideas that women's bodies are something to be ashamed or embarrassed by. (Or perhaps Huff Post automatically censored it? Apologies if so.)
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Nanaama
10:49 AM on 06/23/2012
My censorship has nothing to do with women's body. I would do the same with a man's body part. Your paranoia about being a woman is tragic. And don't lecture me about anatomy, I am a doctor.
10:27 PM on 06/21/2012
Whilst I think sexual liberation is important to progress I do believe that it shouldn't define the movement. As you imply, there is a fine line between sexual liberation and opening the door for oppressive exploitation- the same line stands with porn, as you mentioned page three. I guess the issue at the heart of it is the reasons women are doing this, whether they feel it is a cultural necessity or it is a personal liberation.