THE BLOG

If Sinatra Quit Twitter...

03/03/2013 09:35 GMT | Updated 01/05/2013 10:12 BST

And now, the end is near

And so I face my final homepage

My friends, my aim is clear

I'll post a joke, nicked from the Bronze Age

I've crammed my tweets with cr*p

And revelled in some twisted wordplay

But more, much more than this, I tweeted my way

Retweets, I've had a few

But mainly due, to heavy drinking

I'd rant without a clue, and have a view, though never thinking

I'd whine at Mail Online, but every time, I'd stick a link in

And more, much more than this, I tweeted my way

Yes, there were times, I had no shame

When I RT'd my own acclaim

And through it all, though there were trolls

I blocked the tw*ts, and took the LOLs

Yes, I hash-tagged, and humble-bragged, and tweeted my way

I've starred, DM'd and tried

To boost my count, my share of follows

And now, subtweets aside, I find it all so hard to swallow

To think I did all that

And buttered up with Follow Fridays

Oh no, that wasn't me, I tweeted my way

For what is this thing, this microblog?

If not a means to spout and flog?

To say the things we think are hip, and wallow in an ego-trip

I tried the lot - and now I'm shot - I tweeted my way...!