Samantha Brick, to use a parlance I'd never normally use in print - or, to be fair, in the pub, where I'd be far cruder - is 'a bit of alright'.
But my opinion of her looks is beside the point. The reason Twitter has got its woolly knickers in a twist is because she thinks she's a bit of alright, which got me thinking about modesty, and how it is without a doubt the most overrated virtue of them all.
This isn't a woman claiming to be Scarlett Johansson. Indeed, she says: "While I'm no Elle Macpherson, I'm tall, slim, blonde and, so I'm often told, a good-looking woman."
In other words, she's attractive enough for it to have occasionally affected how people behave towards her over the course of her life.
Now it could be she's self-deluded, and no one has ever done anything of the sort.
It could equally be that, while everyone else is too fraught with self-doubt to notice, she's merely confident enough to see the truth for it is - that men over-compensate around women, and not only the supermodels either.
But either way: who cares? A woman thinks she is pretty, and is prepared to say so out loud? Rejoice! How wonderful! What fantastic news!
I've spent my entire life surrounded by female friends and girlfriends, all beautiful, all to the last one programmed to saying anything self-deprecating they can think of, to draw attention to their flaws endlessly, to never, ever admit - though you pray they know it really - that they are beautiful.
Men are a bit different. After being a typically self-doubting teen, I underwent a personal revolution (or so it felt at the time) around 18 and suddenly saw myself as very attractive indeed. I know, I know - but then you believe a lot of far-fetched stuff at that age.
But that period of confidence - oh hell, call it arrogance - worked wonders for my self-esteem. When I stopped looking in the mirror and seeing my fat nose and my skinny chest and started seeing a nice pair of eyes and smile instead, my personality became more attractive. I felt happier. I grew out of the arrogance (mostly), but my self-image found a sense of balance.
There is no more exhausting and pointless a waste of energy than fretting over your body or your looks unnecessarily, and so many men and women seem to do it to the point where it defies all rational thought.
We claim to want everyone to be walking around feeling better about themselves and less brainwashed by the beauty myth and yet look what happens when one woman - and a cruel editor, no shadow of a doubt about that - expresses some satisfaction with how she looks.
The response has been disgusting - everything the Mail was hoping for and more. In fact, for all Twitter likes to get holier than thou about the nation's nastiest paper, the reaction to this innocuous piece has made Daily Mails of us all.
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― M. Scott Peck
Her essay seemed intentionally provocative, and I did sort of wonder whether it was a joke or internet psychology experiment. I think she's definitely a pretty woman, but just among my own family and friends, I can think of a dozen who are prettier-none of whom have been socially ostracized as a result.
I think that life is, in some ways, easier for pretty people, but I think both men and women like to be around attractive people. My sister is a stunner, and she's always had scores of friends of both genders. If the author truly has never been asked to serve as a bridesmaid as she says in her essay...well, methinks it has more to do with her inner self than her outer one.
As my late grandmother always said, "Pretty is as pretty does."
Me personally, I just don't understand how someone can be so completely self-absorbed and yet totally lack self-awareness. THAT'S why people reacted to her article the way they did. The underlying point - that women treat female acquantainces more positively or negatively based on their physical attractiveness - might have been more relevant if it hadn't been couched in such self-congratulatory twaddle.
Personally, I was not offended by Samantha Brick's arrogance. Fair play to those who have self-confidence in their looks. Let us not kid ourselves, hubris is clearly not the underlying issue here. Self-confidence is not what Brick is trying to exude. She is advancing the idea that looks, not self-confidence, should be used and manipulated to get ahead in life. To get that bigger office, she advises women to reduce themselves to little more than a flirt-machine, ready and willing to be no more than a pretty face: "when you have a male boss, it’s a different game: I have written in the Mail on how I have flirted to get ahead at work, something I’m sure many women do".
Her assumptions extend further then women hating pretty women. Brick enforces a ridiculous blanket stereotype about the male boss she seems to favour. By encouraging women to be the pretty face, Brick is suggesting that men in the work place are so shallow that they can be exploited with a bit of light flirting, reinforcing an outdated gender stereotyping which men should find as offensive as women, implying that men are simply slave to their sexual desires, and that any 'smart' woman should manipulate this to her advantage. Brick's ideas perpetuate the gender stereotypes that are holding back gender equality.
Her conveyance of lustful male bosses, who "adore being flirted with, love to have their egos stroked and — above all else — they yearn for the attention of an attractive woman" is as damaging to societal perceptions of men as her comments suggesting women need to flirt and seduce to get ahead in their job are damaging to women trying to be respected for their intelligence and hard work in the work place.
As a university student I aspire to a career in which progression is reflected by hard-work. I wouldn't consider myself the most aesthetically pleasing young lady, not in a self-depreciating way, but this is not why I am a self-defined ‘happy person’. University has taught me, if anything, that hard-work and achieving personal goals is something to be proud of, and that self-confidence in qualities other than looks gains you respect. If career progression is achieved by pandering towards outdated sexist attitudes, then I find that not only degrading, but downright depressing.
For me, this isn't about what Brick looks like, or even her confidence in her looks. The archaic stereotypes in her article should be seen as offensive to both sexes, or at least men and women who feel that they deserve to be respected on merits other than what constitutes their outer shell, rather than being reduced to machines of animalistic urges with a disregard for all other elements which make up our complex humanity.
Well done to her for getting a bottle of wine or two for free in her life. Maybe she goes where all the desperate men are (we've all seen the hubby, right?), and who hasn't picked up the infrequent freebie before? I'm absolutely going to suggest that whoever has lavished her with such goods knows she's a journo.
The DM is trying to make her a national hate figure and she LOVES it. Look at her previous articles where she boats about flirting at work to get ahead. Classy. What sort of message is that to send out and give focus too?! She's desperately in need of attention for whatever reason (Money? Acknowledgement that she even exists? 'Trolling' as the kids call it i reckon) and the DM are happy to oblige and give her a platform as they all win - more coverage, clicks, chatter etc. They're exposing a very troubled lady with very low morals, humility and any respect for herself or her work.
Don't feed the troll and don't encourage the DM.
She's never been asked to be a bridesmaid? Her 'friends' have taken the opportunity to ridicule her? Well maybe Brick isn't such a decent person herself. We know for starters that she eschews personal criticism and blames it on jealousy: a clear sign of a narcissist. Female acquaintances fear she'll try to steal their husbands? Maybe she's a bit of a flirt.
Brick is certainly deluded if she thinks her story would have provoked any other reaction, and her tearful "you're just jealous, bitches"-style response up there today proves that.
Either which way, the Daily Mail wins again by providing an arena for this bile. Like a malevolent creator, it pitches our flaws against each other for profit. And what's going on with those photos? They emulate a vanity portfolio from a cheap redneck pageant. The Mail has played Brick for a fool, and I hope as much as I'm sure she has profited handsomely.
This is a good analysis from another HuffPost blogger:
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/mary/samantha-brick-daily-mail-comparison-trap_b_1399395.html
Oh dear Samantha, if only all women were as self assured as you there would be less slit wrists on a Friday evening that you and I could ever dare imagine. Here’s to being a preferred hawt bixch dear, if you don’t mind passing me back the bottle of moonshine you stole from under the table….
http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2012/04/samantha-brick-would-like-to-confess-to-us-its-awfully-hard-being-a-preferred-hawt-bixch/