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Samantha Brick Has Made Daily Mails Of Us All

Posted: 3/04/2012 19:21

Samantha Brick, to use a parlance I'd never normally use in print - or, to be fair, in the pub, where I'd be far cruder - is 'a bit of alright'.

But my opinion of her looks is beside the point. The reason Twitter has got its woolly knickers in a twist is because she thinks she's a bit of alright, which got me thinking about modesty, and how it is without a doubt the most overrated virtue of them all.

This isn't a woman claiming to be Scarlett Johansson. Indeed, she says: "While I'm no Elle Macpherson, I'm tall, slim, blonde and, so I'm often told, a good-looking woman."

In other words, she's attractive enough for it to have occasionally affected how people behave towards her over the course of her life.

Now it could be she's self-deluded, and no one has ever done anything of the sort.

It could equally be that, while everyone else is too fraught with self-doubt to notice, she's merely confident enough to see the truth for it is - that men over-compensate around women, and not only the supermodels either.

But either way: who cares? A woman thinks she is pretty, and is prepared to say so out loud? Rejoice! How wonderful! What fantastic news!

I've spent my entire life surrounded by female friends and girlfriends, all beautiful, all to the last one programmed to saying anything self-deprecating they can think of, to draw attention to their flaws endlessly, to never, ever admit - though you pray they know it really - that they are beautiful.

Men are a bit different. After being a typically self-doubting teen, I underwent a personal revolution (or so it felt at the time) around 18 and suddenly saw myself as very attractive indeed. I know, I know - but then you believe a lot of far-fetched stuff at that age.

But that period of confidence - oh hell, call it arrogance - worked wonders for my self-esteem. When I stopped looking in the mirror and seeing my fat nose and my skinny chest and started seeing a nice pair of eyes and smile instead, my personality became more attractive. I felt happier. I grew out of the arrogance (mostly), but my self-image found a sense of balance.

There is no more exhausting and pointless a waste of energy than fretting over your body or your looks unnecessarily, and so many men and women seem to do it to the point where it defies all rational thought.

We claim to want everyone to be walking around feeling better about themselves and less brainwashed by the beauty myth and yet look what happens when one woman - and a cruel editor, no shadow of a doubt about that - expresses some satisfaction with how she looks.

The response has been disgusting - everything the Mail was hoping for and more. In fact, for all Twitter likes to get holier than thou about the nation's nastiest paper, the reaction to this innocuous piece has made Daily Mails of us all.

 

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Samantha Brick, to use a parlance I'd never normally use in print - or, to be fair, in the pub, where I'd be far cruder - is 'a bit of alright'. But my opinion of her looks is beside the point. The...
Samantha Brick, to use a parlance I'd never normally use in print - or, to be fair, in the pub, where I'd be far cruder - is 'a bit of alright'. But my opinion of her looks is beside the point. The...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
inapickle
05:45 PM on 04/05/2012
I'll have to disagree with you. I'm put off by the article not because she says she's beautiful, but because of the imagined consequences of that beauty. The mountain of slights, insults and more which she accredits to her good looks are ridiculous. I've walked a mile in far more attractive shoes than hers, and the behavior she talks about simply doesn't happen based on looks alone. She is a fairly attractive woman whose behavior just has to be appalling if her life experiences have been as described. My guess is that it is solely her behavior which has led to her experiences and that they would have been the same regardless of her looks.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Sorab Shroff
03:22 PM on 04/05/2012
I loved this article. I think these words are so true, "There is no more exhausting and pointless a waste of energy than fretting over your body or your looks unnecessarily, and so many men and women seem to do it to the point where it defies all rational thought."
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Computer Geek
Logician Atheist Lefty
01:51 AM on 04/05/2012
Since [narcissists] deep down, feel themselves to be faultless, it is inevitable that when they are in conflict with the world they will invariably perceive the conflict as the world's fault. Since they must deny their own badness, they must perceive others as bad. They project their own evil onto the world. They never think of themselves as evil, on the other hand, they consequently see much evil in others.”
― M. Scott Peck
01:59 PM on 04/05/2012
couldn't agree more.
08:28 PM on 04/04/2012
First of all, at least in America, women talk all the time about how beautiful they are and what a huge problem it is. Just watch The Bachelor if you don't believe me. Or pretty much any reality show.

Her essay seemed intentionally provocative, and I did sort of wonder whether it was a joke or internet psychology experiment. I think she's definitely a pretty woman, but just among my own family and friends, I can think of a dozen who are prettier-none of whom have been socially ostracized as a result.

I think that life is, in some ways, easier for pretty people, but I think both men and women like to be around attractive people. My sister is a stunner, and she's always had scores of friends of both genders. If the author truly has never been asked to serve as a bridesmaid as she says in her essay...well, methinks it has more to do with her inner self than her outer one.

As my late grandmother always said, "Pretty is as pretty does."
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Thomas Platt
02:37 PM on 04/04/2012
The second I read the article I knew there'd be people out there calling her all sorts of names and telling her she's ugly, which is a bit of an own goal when it comes to disagreeing with her.

Me personally, I just don't understand how someone can be so completely self-absorbed and yet totally lack self-awareness. THAT'S why people reacted to her article the way they did. The underlying point - that women treat female acquantainces more positively or negatively based on their physical attractiveness - might have been more relevant if it hadn't been couched in such self-congratulatory twaddle.
02:00 PM on 04/05/2012
it's called narcissism.
02:15 PM on 04/04/2012
Part 1/2
Personally, I was not offended by Samantha Brick's arrogance. Fair play to those who have self-confidence in their looks. Let us not kid ourselves, hubris is clearly not the underlying issue here. Self-confidence is not what Brick is trying to exude. She is advancing the idea that looks, not self-confidence, should be used and manipulated to get ahead in life. To get that bigger office, she advises women to reduce themselves to little more than a flirt-machine, ready and willing to be no more than a pretty face: "when you have a male boss, it’s a different game: I have written in the Mail on how I have flirted to get ahead at work, something I’m sure many women do".
Her assumptions extend further then women hating pretty women. Brick enforces a ridiculous blanket stereotype about the male boss she seems to favour. By encouraging women to be the pretty face, Brick is suggesting that men in the work place are so shallow that they can be exploited with a bit of light flirting, reinforcing an outdated gender stereotyping which men should find as offensive as women, implying that men are simply slave to their sexual desires, and that any 'smart' woman should manipulate this to her advantage. Brick's ideas perpetuate the gender stereotypes that are holding back gender equality.
02:14 PM on 04/04/2012
Part 2/2
Her conveyance of lustful male bosses, who "adore being flirted with, love to have their egos stroked and — above all else — they yearn for the attention of an attractive woman" is as damaging to societal perceptions of men as her comments suggesting women need to flirt and seduce to get ahead in their job are damaging to women trying to be respected for their intelligence and hard work in the work place.

As a university student I aspire to a career in which progression is reflected by hard-work. I wouldn't consider myself the most aesthetically pleasing young lady, not in a self-depreciating way, but this is not why I am a self-defined ‘happy person’. University has taught me, if anything, that hard-work and achieving personal goals is something to be proud of, and that self-confidence in qualities other than looks gains you respect. If career progression is achieved by pandering towards outdated sexist attitudes, then I find that not only degrading, but downright depressing.

For me, this isn't about what Brick looks like, or even her confidence in her looks. The archaic stereotypes in her article should be seen as offensive to both sexes, or at least men and women who feel that they deserve to be respected on merits other than what constitutes their outer shell, rather than being reduced to machines of animalistic urges with a disregard for all other elements which make up our complex humanity.
02:06 PM on 04/04/2012
The main reason she's angered so many people (women AND men) is that she is claiming that women are jealous of her looks, when, let's face it, they aren't in the slightest. It is, for all intents and purposes, a lie.

Well done to her for getting a bottle of wine or two for free in her life. Maybe she goes where all the desperate men are (we've all seen the hubby, right?), and who hasn't picked up the infrequent freebie before? I'm absolutely going to suggest that whoever has lavished her with such goods knows she's a journo.

The DM is trying to make her a national hate figure and she LOVES it. Look at her previous articles where she boats about flirting at work to get ahead. Classy. What sort of message is that to send out and give focus too?! She's desperately in need of attention for whatever reason (Money? Acknowledgement that she even exists? 'Trolling' as the kids call it i reckon) and the DM are happy to oblige and give her a platform as they all win - more coverage, clicks, chatter etc. They're exposing a very troubled lady with very low morals, humility and any respect for herself or her work.

Don't feed the troll and don't encourage the DM.
01:04 PM on 04/04/2012
oh and as for the daily mail its summed up perfectly in a song called The man from the daily mail,utube it
10:27 AM on 04/04/2012
No doubt Brick is a reasonably good looking girl. But the very fact that she blames her social malaise on how people respond to her looks hints at naïvety, arrogance and a serious lack of empathy. Fair enough, women are under-represented in the highest echelons of of business, but those who have succeeded in their lives and careers have done so both because and in spite of their good looks.

She's never been asked to be a bridesmaid? Her 'friends' have taken the opportunity to ridicule her? Well maybe Brick isn't such a decent person herself. We know for starters that she eschews personal criticism and blames it on jealousy: a clear sign of a narcissist. Female acquaintances fear she'll try to steal their husbands? Maybe she's a bit of a flirt.

Brick is certainly deluded if she thinks her story would have provoked any other reaction, and her tearful "you're just jealous, bitches"-style response up there today proves that.

Either which way, the Daily Mail wins again by providing an arena for this bile. Like a malevolent creator, it pitches our flaws against each other for profit. And what's going on with those photos? They emulate a vanity portfolio from a cheap redneck pageant. The Mail has played Brick for a fool, and I hope as much as I'm sure she has profited handsomely.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Shreen Ayob
01:18 PM on 04/04/2012
Precisely. Sure, being confident is something to applaud but she seemed so lacking in self awareness. She had no idea how spiteful she was coming across, especially towards other women, that it came across more like insecurity to me.

This is a good analysis from another HuffPost blogger:

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/mary/samantha-brick-daily-mail-comparison-trap_b_1399395.html
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Peggy Kendrick
Edited micro-bio. Happy now!?
07:48 AM on 04/04/2012
I've never had the displeasure of being beautiful, a burden I will never have to carry. People have to get to know me before I even become attractive. Something about my brooding, serious nature, I suppose. Should Samantha Brick be praised for having the self awareness to think herself beautiful instead of vilified for daring to declare it in print? Our mother's tell us it is better to be beautiful on the inside and I have known some who were more attractive in body than in spirit, but I had to get to know them to find that out.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Christopher Koulouris
01:24 AM on 04/04/2012
Oh dear Samantha, what are we to make of this horrid mess called your beautiful existence? May I suggest a pair of dark sunglasses that you wear even in your sleep lest a lost angel come across you and canonize itself on the spot in ardent stupor of your superior beauty and of course your dry wit.

Oh dear Samantha, if only all women were as self assured as you there would be less slit wrists on a Friday evening that you and I could ever dare imagine. Here’s to being a preferred hawt bixch dear, if you don’t mind passing me back the bottle of moonshine you stole from under the table….

http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2012/04/samantha-brick-would-like-to-confess-to-us-its-awfully-hard-being-a-preferred-hawt-bixch/
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
crumpets
01:58 AM on 04/04/2012
Sam Parker is a dude.
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09:38 AM on 04/04/2012
You sure?