THE BLOG

Speed Up Your Break-Up Recovery

20/05/2015 20:53 BST | Updated 20/05/2016 10:59 BST

Have you ever noticed how good it feels to help someone? It's strange how helping others can give you a boost too. Even the little things you do can make a huge difference to their day but it can also have a positive impact on your day too.

It's probably the last thing that you feel like doing when you are feeling low and broken hearted. However it can make you feel appreciated and that connection of gratitude from another person, even a total stranger can be very healing. It is a good way to open up your heart with no risk and it will help you with your recovery process.

The act of doing something selfless for someone that is unplanned and spontaneous will make you feel good about yourself and can help to rebuild your self-esteem and confidence. It can be just a little tiny act of kindness or a thoughtful comment. By turning your focus outward to others it will also help you gain some perspective on your own situation.

I had taken my six year old little boy to the dentist last week after school. We boarded the rush hour train home at 5.30pm and it was packed with no free seats. He was tired and wanted to sit down so I was telling him we would get a seat in a few stops when the train started to empty further down the line. Suddenly a young lady stood up and insisted that we take her seat. It was so kind of her that my heart melted a little. We chatted and it turned out that she had been working all day and been up since 6am. I was so touched that she had given up her seat that I promised her I would pay it forward and do something kind for someone else in recognition of what she had done for us.

It was the next day that I was rushing for my train to London and noticed an elderly lady struggling to use the car park ticket machine. It is notoriously tricky and often goes wrong. I stopped to help her and we managed to get it working and to print her ticket for her car. She was so delighted and grateful that even though I missed my train I felt really good about it.

There are lots of random acts of kindness with strangers that you can try. Of course make sure they are appropriate and don't put you in any danger. You will be surprised at how when you are aware of them that you will see more opportunities such as:

- A warm smile at someone who seems low

- A compliment to a stranger

- Stopping to help someone who is struggling e.g. with shopping bags, crossing the road, ticket machine

Try a few and see how they make you feel. Make sure if anyone helps you out that you pay it forward. It's a wonderful mind-set to live with and a great positive way to help you on your road to mending your broken heart.