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Sarah Cawood

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The Baby Olympics

Posted: 09/08/2012 00:00

So, This blogpost is actually one of the posts from my baby blog that you can also find over on www.helpwheresthemanual.com. It is based on the trials and tribulations of a new parent, from conception to university (maybe!) and I thought I'd like to share it over here on The Huffington Post too. If you want to read it from the beginning, you know where to find it but here is my most recent post:

I am imbued with Olympic Spirit this week. I've been getting stuck in to a routine of rural housewifery as we are in Devon where Andy is working until mid September. Consequently, with no London distractions, I've been glued to our gold medal winning ways since it began.

So, there are many emotions that have been bubbling away while I've been bursting with Great British Pride. Firstly, WOW! I never knew I could be as tearful as I am now. And from talking to my friends, I know I'm not alone.... What the hell has parenthood DONE to us? I am physically incapable of watching anyone win anything without dissolving into a puddle on the living room floor. Our athletes and their dedication, grace and humility have reduced me to a blubbering wreck. And if I feel like that, can you imagine how their own parents must feel? Is it possible to ACTUALLY, PHYSICALLY burst with pride??? That could be messy ;(...

So the Olympics have also made me wonder what lies ahead for Hunter too. Whilst I hope that whatever he does with his life that he is ultimately happy, I also, of course, hope that he makes a difference in some way. A force for good on our planet. He doesn't need to cure cancer or win gold medals but I hope that he is kind, selfless, respectful and patient. I hope that his aspirations are lofty and that he wants to achieve big things for HIMSELF.

I look at our sometimes troubled youth and I fear for them a little. They have had precious few decent role models in the last decade or so as we have all watched our culture descend into a reality show-led farce. I once saw a documentary where the kids in a school were asked what they wanted to do when they were older. None of them said "Doctor", "Nurse", "Teacher" or "Fireman" but they all said they wanted to be "Famous". "What for?" asked the interviewer, and got, in response, answers so depressing I had to turn over: "I dunno, I just wanna be famous and get rich like Jordan" :(.

Now before you all start getting angst at me for having a pop at Katie Price, I will admit, there is no denying that she has made her millions by being a very savvy businesswomen but there is also no denying that her initial route to fame was by being a topless model who sold every aspect of her life to papers and gossip magazines for public consumption (and continues to do so).

I just hope for my son and for any more children that we may be blessed with, that their role models are more Mo Farah and less Mark Wright. From what I can gather from social networking this is how we are all feeling. So come on Mr Cameron, more funding for schools and sports please: let's make sure this Olympic Legacy is taken forwards for our children and our children's children...

So Hunter is a little young at the moment to be excelling in any sort of sporting activity but let me tell you, my son is OUTSTANDING, in fact, GOLD MEDAL WINNING at so many other, overlooked disciplines... Here is my rundown of Hunter's Medal Winning Baby Ways:

• Pooing In The Bath.
A real underground baby sport but one in which Hunter EXCELS. In fact I'd say he was easily a Gold Medal Winner in this group. So far he has pooed once in the bath with me in it, and twice without my company. The other day, in a frankly outstanding display of Bath Pooing, he pooed IN the bath, then I took him out so I could empty the dirty bath and run a new one and he continued to poo on the bath mat. After I cleared that up, I turned my back to run him a new, clean bath and when I turned back, he had followed up his award winning poo display with a coda of wee. All over himself and the bathroom floor. Well done that boy. Step up to the podium and collect your award ;)

• Man Belching.
Hunter can burp with the best of them. Easily a silver medallist in this category. Sometimes he even shocks himself with the sound and scale of his belches. Give that baby an Olympic Posy. And a muslin.

• Baby Drooling.
This is a HOTLY contested group with many babies EXCELLING at the drool discipline. I'd say Hunter could easily bag himself a bronze though. He frequently drools through entire outfits and in recent weeks has added to his drooling cachet with Raspberry Blowing and Odd Noise Making. Give that boy a prize bib!

So I have high hopes for some serious prize winning from my son in the Baby Olympics. Maybe I too, will get to feel as proud of my offspring as the parents of our Olympians feel about theirs...;)

There are of course, some weaknesses in his Baby Olympic arsenal, one of which is sleeping. He's not a bad sleeper but by no means an Olympic medal winning success story. This discipline clearly needs some hard work and tough training from the little man. I'll let you know how he improves over the coming weeks.

And finally, since I'm feeling so sentimental and full of love towards all of us Great Brits, I'd just like to say that Hunter's finest talent, the one which he will always be fantastic at no matter how old he is, is the Smiling At Mummy discipline. That's the thing that will always win awards in my world. Total Soul Fuel.

I make no apologies for the schmaltzy tone of this entry. Normal, confused and confounded parental service will resume shortly... Now if you'll excuse me, I believe the gymnasts are just about to start their thang on BBC 1: where's the Kleenex?

 

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