Why Face Creams Won't Make You Beautiful

Despite the fact, we are told time and time again there is no conclusive, scientific evidence that rubbing anything on your face, apart from sun block, will do anything to reduce the appearance of lines, mainstream beauty product commercials still work on the basic assumption that women aren't clever enough to see through their bogus claims.

There are few times in real-life, when I feel I'm being talked down to because I'm a woman.

While the odd sexist comment might pop up in the office, the occasion feels so laughably retro, I can't help smiling with nostalgia, before taking the culprit down.

However, watching TV with my husband reminds me that my perception of gender equality is superficial.

During any advert break, a flawless Scandinavian goddess will encourage female viewers to buy a patented, scientifically-proven face cream that will unlock their luminous qualities. And she's not talking about their personalities.

Despite the fact, we are told time and time again there is no conclusive, scientific evidence that rubbing anything on your face, apart from sun block, will do anything to slow the process of ageing, mainstream beauty product commercials still work on the basic assumption that women aren't clever enough to see through their bogus claims.

I recently cringed through an advert targeted at women-like-me, in which a model said her moisturiser would improve my skin tone using 'gene therapy'. The implication being that if you used the cream, you'd be a genetically modified person. And a prettier one.

Now, I know I haven't got a Phd... but...

Making up excruciatingly obvious, scientific-sounding lies about your products to encourage gullible women to buy your products is not only deeply cynical but worryingly out of step with our modern value system.

In other areas of industry, science has brought clarity and transparency to modern life. But in beauty marketing, it is used to confuse and warp our understanding of the female body.

One chink of light in this suffocating cloak field of demeaning, sexist clap-trap has to be the growing gap between women and men's performance at school.

It is predicted that by 2017 female doctors will be in a majority. And surely, if more women study science, almost all beauty products will have to be recalled.

After all, how long can 'mineral cosmetology' last in a world where women confidently interpret everything on the boxes as mumbo-jumbo.

Interestingly, younger, cooler beauty brands, avoid pseudo-science, preferring to enjoy the playful side of beauty. They indulge in clever designs to titillate women's sensibilities, rather than peddling non-science that mocks female credulity.

But, even when the advertising teams of the future finally air-brush made-up science out of their campaigns, and replace it with patented, 'beauty-is-only-skin-deep-technology'... there's one truth that will probably never appear our television screens.

Fat is good for radiant skin. Plump and glowing complexions after the age of 35 tends to belong to one group of women: and they're a size 16.

So instead of obsessing about being thin, the best beauty advice would involve large portions of toast and butter.

However, I doubt I'll hear that in my lifetime, despite the fact that when it comes to soft, radiant skin, nothing looks as good as curvy feels.

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