In my case this was Switzerland, before we decided to make the big move there from the UK, which was a big deal in itself. There was a period of just over a year when my husband had started his new role and because of schools, schedules and exams etc we stayed in the UK. This also gave him the opportunity to settle in to the job without the pressures of family life. We also had the advantage of being able to visit lots, slowly furnish our new place and get to know the area. When we did eventually move over it wasn't completely alien. Particularly important to the smaller members of the team :).
So we were living apart for 16 months and to be honest we were dreading it and at times wondered why on earth we were doing it, but time does indeed fly, so I thought I would share my tips of how we got through it.
Supportive family
I lived for the weekends with the children, they were the best company. From impromptu days out to the beach to just watching a Miss Marple film or watching Match of the Day together, the laughter, gossip and general day to day madness of these children was a tonic. Also my parents were great, even though based in North Wales they would travel down for the odd week and help out and also babysit for the odd weekend away too. Lean on your family if you can - they want to help.
Friends
From friends and work colleagues, their chat and company and support was invaluable. The best therapy when things were getting too much was a good cry, a coffee and a chat - and laughter, laughter, laughter; that in my book is the best medicine, a problem shared.
Get in to a routine
When we first started living apart my husband was settling in to the new job and I was cracking on with family life and sorting out all the millions of after-school stuff that the children did, and going through GCSEs, AS Levels and SATS (I just about still have a full head of hair - though it is brought to you by L'Oreal to cover the magnitude of grey). We found that setting a time for a chat or a FaceTime really worked, so make sure that you put aside some time when you are not driving or at the till at Waitrose and that can be dedicated catch up time.
We also got in to a lovely habit of doing the Guardian Quick Crossword together (on the Guardian app) every day too, kept the brain cells working and was something to look forward to (as basic as that might sound) and gave us some routine and normality every day.
FacetTime is ace
The boys all love football and love match of the day so we would FaceTime Dad and prop him up in the living room and would watch the programme or game at the same time - there was a delay of about 30 secs which could be a little amusing especially when we would celebrate a goal before him ... we would even prop him up at the end of the table at tea time sometimes too and all chat together as we would normally.
Take time out together
We were very lucky that we were able to have a few weekends away on our own - to recharge our batteries and have some time together. But you don't actually have to fly off to sunny climbs and spend lots, one of our favs times together is to take a bag of chips and drive out in to the countryside together and just sit and chat - sometimes in the pouring rain (we stayed in the car those times) quiet time together chatting and stuffing your face with chips - what could be more romantic?
Radio Gaga
I would not have survived without my beloved Radio 4. Probably one of the loneliest times is at bedtime. I couldn't bear the silence so I got in to the habit of listening to podcasts, The News Quiz, the Unbelievable Truth, various afternoon plays and a comfort blanket from my childhood, Dad's Army - I think I may now be able to rival my father's knowledge of Captain Mainwaring and company. I would set the sleep timer on my phone for 30 mins and usually only hear the first 5 so an episode usually lasted a week, but at least it got me off to sleep.
So that's how I survived our time apart. We have recently taken the next big step and moved to Switzerland and started living together again, perhaps one of my future blogs will be how to survive living with your husband who has been working away.
Little romantic texts keep a smile on your face - sent by my husband one Saturday morning - photo author's own
Listen to more of my nostalgic ramblings and here about my new adventures settling in to life after a move from the UK to Switzerland, all with an 80s soundtrack at https://sarahjanesadventures.com/