Scott Bryan
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Scott Bryan is a TV Critic, who writes everything from dodgy obscure late night documentaries on BBC Four to the hypnotic world of CBeebies. He also fails at locking any Twitter relating devices in a cupboard when he has had some wine.

Entries by Scott Bryan

The Five Most Annoying Things About Being Gay

(9) Comments | Posted 8 March 2013 | (00:00)

1. There's an assumption that you sleep with others all the time - Yeah, that's right. We all sleep with each other, 3,000 times a day. There's no need for women. No talking about feelings (with extra witty banter about your boobs), we can just cut straight to it and...

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Why I Am Still Single...

(0) Comments | Posted 13 February 2013 | (04:50)

Two years ago, just before Valentines Day, I wrote a list of all the reasons why I think I am still single.

Two years later, I am still single.

But it isn't because of the reasons in that article (reasons such as only purchasing a single pillow for...

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Why Having Parents Who Are Air Traffic Controllers is the Best Thing Ever

(8) Comments | Posted 30 January 2013 | (00:00)

Before I start this article, I feel as if I should make a clarification about my parent's jobs.

They were Air Traffic Controllers.

AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLERS ARE NOT THE PEOPLE ON THE RUNWAY AT AIRPORTS HOLDING SMALL RED TENNIS RACKETS, TO SHOW THE PLANES WHERE THE TERMINAL GATE IS.

My...

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Why Working the Nightshifts is AMAZING

(1) Comments | Posted 13 December 2012 | (06:50)

I have got a new job. For the moment, my shifts are at night.

But my shifts aren't during the early night, which now begins at approximately 2.10pm. Bloody winter.

It isn't the early evening shift. If it was, I would spend my mornings watching the Barefoot...

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The Problem With Reporting Suicide

(0) Comments | Posted 8 December 2012 | (12:55)

In a post I wrote in February this year I wrote about a Twitter friend who had taken his own life the previous day. I hadn't met him, I didn't know why he had taken his own life... I know it sounds odd to feel a connection with and write...

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Face It - You Have A DOOMED TWITTER CRUSH

(0) Comments | Posted 16 July 2012 | (13:27)

Oh I don't have a Twitter crush.

I don't even have Twitter. I don't believe in this claptrap at all *throws computer in bin to burn evidence*

And a crush? What me, an individual who only uses Twitter for professional purposes such as negotiating with others about synergy and innovation...

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Being Dyslexic Can Actually Be Bloody Brilliant

(14) Comments | Posted 22 May 2012 | (01:00)

I'm dyslexic. That's right. Richard Branson, Albert Einstein, Henry Winkler and Orlando Bloom and I can all officially high-five each other.

I was diagnosed about three years ago, during the second year of my university study, undetected throughout my entire school life. If you have to place how dyslexic I...

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Admit It, This Titanic Lark is Just Disaster Porn

(2) Comments | Posted 13 April 2012 | (14:10)

What? The TITANIC SANK 100 YEARS AGO? Bloody hell, I mean there hasn't been any reports of it in any kind on the television, or other forms of news media has there?

THAT'S RIGHT I WAS BEING SARCASTIC. The Titanic disaster has been practically unavoidable. There have been souvenir copies...

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Why I'll Miss Analogue Television... And Why You Will Too

(0) Comments | Posted 29 March 2012 | (19:06)

SWITCHOVER IS COMING.

Well depending on where you live, it's actually already happened or will happen, or is happening between 2009 and the end of April in 2012, but you know, sod off I don't have time to adjust my writing for your own geographical location. IN FACT YOU KNOW...

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The Problem With Playing it Straight

(0) Comments | Posted 17 January 2012 | (12:51)

You're single. You're female. You've had bad experiences with men in the past. You want to find a quick fix before your friends start tilting their heads on yours shoulders when you complain about it and say "awww", and you hear that there's this new TV show that is offering...

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Why This Whole Jeremy Clarkson Story is a Farce

(6) Comments | Posted 1 December 2011 | (14:14)

What a disgrace.

No I'm not referring to Jeremy Clarkson's comments on The One Show last night, saying that he would take all public sector workers "outside and execute them in front of their families."

No, its whats happened afterwards which is a disgrace. Unison coming out and demanding...

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What We've Got To Change Before The Olympics Games

(0) Comments | Posted 29 November 2011 | (22:46)

You know that the Olympics are around the corner when you've seen your 4657475th Cadburys and Lloyds TSB advert.

Right now though, London needs to get its act together. We've got the biggest celebration happening on our doorsteps in literally months and we're acting like cynical bastards.

You can't...

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TV Hit or Sh*t? - Sorority Girls, Shipwrecked, PBS and Glee

(0) Comments | Posted 10 November 2011 | (23:47)

Welcome to TV Hit or Sh*t. Every Friday I'll be here to let you know what is going up and down in the world of TV in past and present and what to look forward to in the week ahead.

--

YOU GOTTA WATCH... Sorority Girls (Tuesdays, 9pm, E4)

I...

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Why You Have to Watch 'The Only Way Is Dalston'

(0) Comments | Posted 22 October 2011 | (01:00)

You've probably already heard the news, that according to Vice Magazine, The Only Way Is Dalston is coming to MTV.

"Wahey!", you are thinking sarcastically. Another show, like The Only Way Is Essex and Made In Chelsea comprised of self-indulgent gits who fill our screens with their unrelenting...

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Why the 'Delivering Quality First' Cuts Made Sense

(0) Comments | Posted 7 October 2011 | (01:00)

The words 'Delivering Quality First' are terrifying. When an up-and-coming report uses such banal management speak in its title in order to distance itself from the subject matter it is dwelling on as far as possible, in this case for the BBC the big big word of CUTS, it is...

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Why a Gap Year is a Waste of Time (but why you Need to Have One)

(0) Comments | Posted 23 September 2011 | (01:00)

Oh lordy. From next year the price of a yearly university tuition fee rises to a humble £374,000, so every post A-Level student is starting uni this year, therefore abandoning their original plan of working in a dodgy supermarket near their parents' house for six months before travelling to some...

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Those Who Hate Facebook today? Give Over Yourself.

(4) Comments | Posted 22 September 2011 | (20:00)

Yesterday, Facebook made some changes.

Of course I didn't have to tell you that. you've complained about them already.

In fact, let's have a random poll and have a look at selection of comments on the official 'Facebook' Facebook page today, just to make sure:

Rachel: "Awful. Just awful."
...

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Why the Gay Scene has got to Change

(22) Comments | Posted 14 September 2011 | (01:00)

Until about three years ago, as a gay man, I had never had any contact with the gay scene. I grew up in the countryside, the nearest gay bar was approximately 300 miles away and was shit, finding a gay lifestyle magazine or place to hang out was as simple...

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Weekend TV: Red or Black, The Jonathan Ross Show

(0) Comments | Posted 4 September 2011 | (21:30)

Ah September. The time when TV columnists make statements like "Oh wasn't August's TV just RUBBISH?... but now there are proper things for you to watch" when you never actually realised that there was actually a difference. In fact I might as well reveal to you that all we've got...

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Why I'm Losing Faith in the Power of Twitter

(1) Comments | Posted 23 August 2011 | (11:31)

Camden's Electric Ballroom smashed up. Ella Fitzgerald dead. Zac Efron pleasuring himself in his own bed. These are just some of the frankly bizarre rumours that have been RTing their way around the Fail Whale world and you know what, for a long time I didn't mind.

In fact...

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