THE BLOG

Vibrators and the Perils of Lockjaw

27/11/2014 14:57 GMT | Updated 26/01/2015 10:59 GMT

Every relationship needs spicing up now and again and mine is no different. So when my partner asked if I would do a sexy strip tease for him and let him watch as I played with my vibrator I was very excited.

Being super sex confident I imagined that I'd dazzle him with my dance moves and seduce him into some much needed bedroom action. Needless to say it has been lacking recently.

Before he got home I made sure that the candles were lit, sexy music was playing in the background, I had on my new lingerie and my new vibrator was in hand ready to go. I have to admit that I was feeling very confident and rather empowered. After all, I was in control.

He walked in and I could feel the wine bubbling with excitement and anticipation inside me. I didn't even give him time to speak before I was guiding him into the bedroom and shoving a glass of wine in his hand. The look in his eyes was to die for, I'm sure it was the shock of my dominating demeanour as I'm usually quite submissive.

Pushing him onto the chair in the bedroom, I climbed onto the bed and started my sexy dance. His eyes lit up even more as I straddled a pillow. Looking back that wasn't very sexy, but it seemed to work for him. I picked up the vibrator and turned it on full power. Not wanting to jump straight in with the 'show', I decided it would be sexier to put it in my mouth and show him what I planned to do to him later.

As I was sucking away I started to feel tension in my jaw and before I knew it my mouth was locked around this vibrating foreign object. The pain was immense and he didn't even realise. He just sat there smiling, waiting for my next move. The music was obviously louder than I thought because he couldn't hear me whimpering with pain.

It was only when tears started streaming down my cheeks that he discovered something was wrong, but when he figured out what had happened he broke down in a fit of laughter. There was me in pain, my tongue being used as a vibrators playground and he was laughing at me. As if I wasn't embarrassed enough.

Eventually he got over his laughing fit and actually helped to turn the damn thing off and rescue my mouth. For some reason my hands couldn't function because of the pain I was in from locking around the vibrator. It was like I was paralysed.

Women be warned!

If you ever decide to give your partner a 'show' with a sexy toy, do not attempt to put it in your mouth. Firstly, it isn't as sexy in real life as it is in your mind and secondly, I wouldn't want anyone else going through the pain and embarrassment that I have. I have definitely learned my lesson and won't be doing it again.