Shihab S Joi
Shihab Salim has been a professional Asian for many years – working as a senior editor for Asian tabloids like Eastern Eye, Asian Xpress and Asian City, as well as all the leading Asian lifestyle glossies – Asiana and Asian Woman. He is currently the Editor-at-Large of Asian Bride. He lives in Brighton, where no one particularly cares that he's Asian. He recently changed his name by deedpoll to Shihab Salim Joi to take on the surname of his kids – Maiya & Otis Joi. They keep him grounded. Sometimes.
He is also the editor of and

Entries by Shihab S Joi

Why Everyone Should Read the Qur'an in Plain English

(3) Comments | Posted 3 September 2014 | (01:25)

I blame the moment I turned from an Allah-fearing little boy to an incurable heathen on a cockroach.

Like every kid in the Muslim world, I was raised to believe the Qur'an was uber-sacred. You did not so much as touch it without permission or performing the necessary ablutions. Mess...

Read Post

Madonna Wears a Burqa! Katy Perry Dresses Like a Geisha Girl! Pharrell Dons a Feather Headdress! So What?

(0) Comments | Posted 26 June 2014 | (11:01)

If words could come to life, "appropriation" would arrive promptly on time, dressed in a grey suit, pushing a standard regulation pencil, telling everyone to stop doing that, it's not appropriate.

It's the ultimate party pooper, especially if it's a costume party, and woe betide you come dressed in...

Read Post

Why Do People Pretend to be Passionate About Things When They're Not?

(2) Comments | Posted 18 June 2014 | (13:19)

This is a story about being cool.

It starts, preposterously enough, with The Police. (For the record: I could've gone with the always cool The Pixies to spin this yarn, seeing as they were involved in a similar issue a few years later, but this article is...

Read Post

The British Asian Inquisition, or How I Came to Accept I'm From India Even Though I'm Not

(0) Comments | Posted 29 April 2014 | (10:06)

Every British Asian has played out a version of this conversation:

'Where are you from?'


'No, before that.'


'Um... I mean, originally.'

'Lewisham hospital.'

'Sorry. I mean your parents. Where are they from?'

Now here's weird. You're making small talk with a complete stranger; you expect to be...

Read Post

In Defence of the Poor Little White Man

(1) Comments | Posted 6 March 2014 | (23:00)

We know how the argument about reverse racism/sexism goes. That for them to work the other way round, we'd have to get on a time machine and re-order the world in a manner where women, dark-skinned folk and gay people all reign supreme, leaving the straight white dude oppressed, marginalised...

Read Post

A Little Internet Knowledge Can Be a Dangerous Thing

(0) Comments | Posted 27 February 2014 | (12:09)

"Whenever I listen to her, underneath that softness, I get the feeling the emotional topography of her life is all jagged, do you know what I mean?"

This sentence, believe it or not, got me laid. I was online dating, the keyboard banter was smooth but by no means sure,...

Read Post

Weekend Dad Notes: Is it Really So Bad to Take Your Kids Out of School During Term Time?

(2) Comments | Posted 16 January 2014 | (09:31)

What's the word for when you smugly disassociate yourself from a group for engaging in a terrible deed, only to realise that you yourself are planning to commit the exact same terrible deed?

It came to me while reading this line, in the Daily Mail where else, that screamed: "A...

Read Post

Where is the Satisfaction in Being Anonymous?

(0) Comments | Posted 9 December 2013 | (10:56)


I don't know about you, but in my superhero fantasies, I can't wait to cut to the part where I whip off my mask and the girl swoons 'it's you, my hero'. All the people I want to impress in life are here...

Read Post

How the EDL Have Made Racism Sort of Alright

(6) Comments | Posted 9 October 2013 | (11:57)


I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this.

Just this Sunday gone, I set up the Daily Racist with the express intention to poke some fun at the EDL. They do, after all, have a Viz-load of characters to play...

Read Post

Why Do People Take Drugs?

(54) Comments | Posted 5 October 2013 | (00:00)


So farewell Silk Road. To those of you who've only just heard about it since its shutdown, well, it clearly hasn't been causing you any bother. Just a bunch of wasters who got to stay off the mean streets for a...

Read Post

Stoptober Special: Don't be a Sucker for Smoking Substitutes

(1) Comments | Posted 30 September 2013 | (02:23)


No one likes a quitter. Especially the type that wears past vices like a badge of dishonour. You know the one. I don't touch drugs, but back in the daze, these nostrils saw more marching action than the Bolivia-Chile border, weren't I so cool...

Read Post

Passing the Al-Shabaab Test Brings Me No Peace

(2) Comments | Posted 27 September 2013 | (00:21)

'La Ilaha IllAllah Muhammadur Rasulullah.'

These words form the basis of Islam, and any Muslim, good or bad, will treat it with the utmost of respect (even if the bad ones might fail to give you the exact literal translation): There is absolutely no deity worthy of worship other than...

Read Post

Weekend Dad Notes Part II: My Girl Doesn't Stash Cutlery in Her Pants

(0) Comments | Posted 22 August 2013 | (09:39)

Heard the one about the Asian girl with the spoon in her pants?

I wish this was a joke, but it's all too horribly true. Young girls walking the Green Mile to marriage are being advised to carry concealed cutlery to set off the alarm in the hope...

Read Post

Weekend Dad Notes Part One: Why Festivals Make the Best Crèches

(1) Comments | Posted 16 August 2013 | (00:00)

'Look, Daddy - that one's on ketamine!'

Some guys encourage their kids to recognise sports cars. I showed mine how to spot the drug casualty. It seems to have had the desired effect on The Girl. While her peers are stumbling through the transition from Inbetweeners to Skins by tripping...

Read Post