Sian Hughes
Sian Hughes is an award-winning mummy blogger. By day, she works in PR and copywriting. By night, she blogs as Flossing the Cat, exploring everything from the existential challenges of motherhood and parenting to the bloodcurdling horror of motorway slip roads and king-size duvet covers. An enthusiastic subscriber to The Bawdy Manifesto, she strongly believes that all words are endowed with certain inalienable rights and that the four-letter-words are especially deserving of attention and protection. She is currently working on an epic work of non-fiction provisionally called ‘The Extremely Over-Protective Mother’s Handbook: An A-Z of Neurotic Mummy Shit’.

Entries by Sian Hughes

Larry the Chin Hair

(0) Comments | Posted 4 May 2016 | (12:24)

My eleven year old has become obsessed with the question of lady whiskers.

MY lady whiskers.

I catch her standing in the kitchen doorway staring at me as I cook dinner. She looks decidedly queasy.
"You ok?" I say. "Something wrong?"
She is staring directly at my...

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Why My House Has Gone to the Dogs (And Other 'Tails' of Woe)

(0) Comments | Posted 3 September 2015 | (14:24)

It's been a while since I blogged. The reason, dear readers, is this:


Daisy. (No relation of Kiss lead singer Gene Simmons, in spite of the tongue)

Yes, folks. A couple of months ago, we acquired a...

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The Fucknetic Alphabet

(0) Comments | Posted 18 March 2015 | (12:21)

And here's another thing:

The NATO Phonetic Alphabet.

What the fuck's that all about?

F is for Foxtrot? Are you kidding me? Last time I did a foxtrot was, oh, I dunno, NEVER. Which was about the same time as I popped over to Lima.

How in god's...

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(0) Comments | Posted 16 January 2015 | (10:05)

At the risk of sounding like a hater, I HATE flashers.

I don't mean folks who like to show you their bits. Unless you're talking about Rihanna. If I ever see any of Rihanna's bits, ever again, I will pluck out my own eyeballs.

I mean motorists who think it's...

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Working From Home: The Good, The Bad and the Gluttony

(0) Comments | Posted 19 November 2014 | (10:59)

This week, I've been mostly thinking about the pros and cons of working from home, which I'd like to share.

I'll begin with the bad news:

1. Working from home can mean extensive periods of isolation, leading to a catastrophic degeneration of social skills. In extreme circumstances, this can...

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First Kiss

(0) Comments | Posted 8 October 2014 | (11:51)

Everyone remembers their first kiss, right?

For Zac Efron, it happened in a tree-house, over a game of Truth or Dare. Zayn Malik had to stand on a brick to deliver his kiss. Taylor Swift was the last of her friends.

My first kiss story involves a widowed second cousin-in-law,...

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Exercise Bikes Just Got a Whole Lot Sexier

(0) Comments | Posted 24 September 2014 | (11:52)

Let me get one thing straight.

In spite of my buffed appearance, I am NOT a gym bunny.

I loathe exercise more than I loathe Facebook updates about exercise. I loathe exercise more than I loathe the new iWatch. I loathe exercise more than I loathe the idea of shitting...

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Project Monkey Trousers: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Hairiness

(0) Comments | Posted 5 August 2014 | (15:43)

Once upon a time, when I was a not-so-sweet sixteen year old, I quit shaving my legs. I can't remember the exact reason - it was probably more to do with youthful contrarianism than feminism - but I do remember that unlike other acts of teenage rebellion, my shaggy young...

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The Mummies and Daddies Space Hopper Race

(0) Comments | Posted 18 May 2014 | (12:45)

When I was a kid, I used to love space hoppers.

Or, to borrow modern-day parlance, I used to heart them.

I loved their weird, rabbity, scrunched-up faces; their funny, whimsical, gormlessness. I loved their plump orange bodies, and their ribbed little ears, and the smell and feel...

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Coffee to Go... Do One

(0) Comments | Posted 6 March 2014 | (10:58)

So I know it's unreasonable, even sociopathic. But as March 2014 is Caffeine Awareness Month, now seems like a really good time to share my feelings on the subject of 'to-go-coffee' culture, or more specifically, the people (by which I mean tosspots) who partake in it.


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Kitty Kitty Bang Bang

(0) Comments | Posted 14 February 2014 | (11:02)

Cats slaughter hundreds if not thousands of infants every year. Literally. Their preferred modus operandi is to position themselves over the sleeping body of a newborn baby and suck the breath out of its body, but, as if that weren't enough, they're also into chest compression, suffocation, and spraying toxoplasmosis...

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The 3am Girl - Not

(0) Comments | Posted 23 January 2014 | (10:48)

So we all make mistakes, right?

Here's mine. Last Saturday, I stayed up until 3.30am, drinking.

Now for some of you, this is normal. For some of you crazy-ass party bitches and crack hoes, 3.30am is an early night. But just to put it in context, the last time I...

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Santa Baby, Please Don't Get Me a New Steam Iron for Xmas

(0) Comments | Posted 7 December 2013 | (15:14)

The other day, my six-year-old son found an antiquated travel iron, still in its box, in the sideboard.

"Mammy, can I play with that boat?" he asked, studying the picture.

Now I am the first to admit that basic object recognition has never been one of my son's strengths, but...

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