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Why You Shouldn't Sleep With Comedians (Or Just Me)

16/09/2013 13:56 BST | Updated 15/11/2013 10:12 GMT

Despite the first rule of being a female comedian; "don't do comedians", I went right out and did just that. I didn't exactly do a comedian. I innocently fooled around with one. An up-and-coming Danish one called Frederk Rosgaard. It was just a drunken bit of fun.

Unrelated to the incident, around six months later, I got a tattoo. My favourite quote written on my right foot. I had to sign a contract and immediately got an idea. That night I went home and decided to prank Frederik, whom I hadn't really spoken to since our faces touched awkwardly.

Because you know - Girls Just Want To Have Fun And Use That As An Excuse To Be Bitches.

It was a Friday, so I waited till 2am. I started sending him texts, that would make me appear drunk.

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(Roughly translated, it's 1) Oops 2) Oh no 3) Hdyy nnmmm druunk 4) heello i gjust mmniss yuuo)

I then sent him a picture message. Of the contract I had had to sign at the tattoo parlour.

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(Watch a bigger version here)

I waited for 50 minutes. During these 50 minutes, I made my housemate help me.

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I then sent Frederik this picture text:

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(Watch a bigger version here.)

Then a few more "drunken texts":

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I called his phone from my Danish and British number and hung up a few times. And then I put my phone on silent for 18 hours.

I woke up to 12 missed calls and this:

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(Which translated means 1) Forgive me, but I was wondering, if you would be interested in letting me know, what you have been doing? 2) And if it wouldn't be too much of a worry, I would love for you to give me a little call, whenever you feel like it.)

After a few hours, I called him and told him the truth.

And after a long, shout'y and expensive phone call, I realised that when people say "Don't do comedians", it's not an advice for people like me.

It's an advice because of people like me.

Frederik has now started talking to me again and one of the main things he is saying is, "If you make it into a blog post, you better include my Twitter handle!" - @frederikkruckow