Soila Sindiyo
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Soila is known for taking away the pain of trauma and loss in children, adolescents and their families.

Soila holds an MSc in Psychoanalytic Developmental Psychology from UCL (University College London), is an accredited Positive Parenting Program (Triple P) practitioner and a trained Family Mediator.

She also holds a certification from the National Institute of Trauma and Loss in Children Michigan in Structured Sensory Interventions for Traumatized Children, Adolescents and Parents (SITCAP), has had training in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy for Children and Adolescents as well as Eye Movement Desentization and Reprocessing (EMDR part I, II and III).

She is Graduate Member of the British Psychological Society.

Soila has worked with children and families for over 10 years mainly in the area of loss and trauma (www.helpingchildrencope.co.uk).

She is the founder of www.thedivorcemagazine.co.uk and the author of "When Love is Broken. A read-together book for children and parents going through divorce and separation."

Entries by Soila Sindiyo

Why Deny Him Parental Responsibility?

(0) Comments | Posted 29 July 2014 | (19:07)

It's holiday time and for the first time in a long time I had the house to myself.

So this morning I decided to get my breakfast and sit down and watch some telly. Jeremy Kyle was on. Super!

By the time I switched over to another channel, my...

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The Price Children Pay for Watching Their Parents Fight

(0) Comments | Posted 13 March 2014 | (18:30)

Arguing or disagreeing with your partner is not unusual, it's a normal part of life. It happens and will continue to happen as long as you're together.

Your children will see this happen but they will also see you make up and continue with your life and love as...

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Dating While Under the Influence of Divorce

(1) Comments | Posted 20 December 2013 | (04:54)

You see, I have been on several dates with a wonderful man whom we shall call Tom (not his real name but close enough).

These past few weeks went as well as can be considering that my dear Tom is still living in the shadow of divorce.

Tom had been...

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Divorce and the Lies We Tell Our Children

(5) Comments | Posted 29 October 2013 | (23:00)

Recently, a friend of mine received an email from his 14-year-old daughter asking if she could go live with him and his family. She explained that it was her mum's suggestion as she had lost her job and home and was finding it difficult to look after her.

Bit...

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Divorcing? Need a Parenting Plan?

(7) Comments | Posted 9 October 2013 | (00:00)

Agreeing on a parenting plan can be tricky. Not only does it involve and affect several people but you and your ex-partner are expected to reach an amicable agreement at a time when emotions are running high and conflict is constantly present.

It's not always easy but

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Co-Parenting - Are You the Toxic Parent?

(2) Comments | Posted 5 August 2013 | (00:00)

Ok, most of us know how difficult and hurtful divorce can be but when coupled with having to come up with a shared parenting plan, this then pushes the whole experience to the next level.

Once the whole process is over and each parent is living in their own home,...

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Children and Parental Conflict - Nine Changes to Watch Out For in Your Children

(1) Comments | Posted 16 July 2013 | (00:00)

Conflict is a normal part of family life. What matters is how parents handle it and deal with it.

If your children are witnessing and living with continuous parental conflict, then there is a pretty good chance that this situation might be affecting them in various ways. This applies both...

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Divorce - How to Tell the Children

(6) Comments | Posted 19 June 2013 | (00:00)

Depending on the age of the child, this moment might be something that they will always remember - the time you told them that you, mummy and daddy, were going to live separately. It is therefore critical that the news is conveyed with caution.

Here is what you will need...

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"Lives are Full of Accidents Mama."

(0) Comments | Posted 3 June 2013 | (11:33)

Recently, on our way home, a car veered onto our lane hitting us and sending us crashing into a nearby ditch. I was driving and my mum and 8 year old daughter were my passengers.

The other driver was drunk. He admitted liability on the spot, apologised several times over...

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Co-Parenting - It's really not about you.

(0) Comments | Posted 13 May 2013 | (07:38)

I was listening to a radio interview the other day of a certain famous man. It was quite interesting but the thing that caught my attention the most and that I have not forgotten since was when he was asked about the most difficult time in his life.

Now this...

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Divorce - Five Things Not to Give a Damn About

(4) Comments | Posted 12 May 2013 | (18:36)

Ok, I'm sorry but even as you go through your divorce, as bitter and acrimonious as it is or can be at the time, there are some things that may happen, which you might indeed surprise you, hurt you or just plain "make you have kittens" as my friend June...

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Take Responsibility for Your Relationship Breakdown And Divorce

(18) Comments | Posted 20 February 2013 | (08:11)

Very often when I speak about taking responsibility for one's relationship breakdown, I'm met with strange looks, actually some of them are angry, antagonised looks that demand, "Are you trying to say that I put myself in this situation?"

Well, erm, yes. I am.

Why is it so difficult...

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Sadness Steals Your Smile

(1) Comments | Posted 20 February 2013 | (06:58)

"Sadness steals your smile. Anger steals your laughter. Hate steals your heart." - Unknown

Ok. I'll get straight to the point. Your marriage or relationship has ended. That's no fun at all. It's tough and you're probably going through unbearable emotional pain and discovering thoughts and...

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50th Wedding Anniversaries - Getting Rarer and Rarer?

(0) Comments | Posted 3 January 2013 | (23:00)

As some of you know, I am twice divorced and I cannot tell you how many times I've been asked what happened. Only natural I suppose. The simple answers:

With marriage number one, I was way too young. I was 21 and yes, my parents, especially my mother, tried to...

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Co-Parenting Over Christmas - In Search of Some Sanity

(3) Comments | Posted 21 December 2012 | (23:00)

For some divorced or separated parents, arranging and organizing equal time with the children has been an easy and smooth ride while for others, and you know who you are, it has been and is still is proving to be an experience straight out of hell for various reasons.

If...

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Christmas - Without the Children? Well Hooray! Oh the Beauty of Co-Parenting!

(0) Comments | Posted 11 December 2012 | (13:41)

This time of year is always strangely exciting for me because every other year I am with my girls while the next they spend it with their fathers (yes, I have been married and divorced twice).

This year they will be away for the whole holidays. Am I ok with...

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Divorce, Children and the Best Christmas Present Ever

(3) Comments | Posted 3 December 2012 | (05:22)

A very close friend of mine recently got divorced, as in a couple of months ago. She has two children below the age of seven.

This is going to be her first Christmas in nine years as a single woman and mum and she is angry because she wants to...

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