Growing up there was a girl in my class called 'Nanna'. Yes, as in Granny, Grandma, Nan - Nanna. Her parents weren't new age, nor pretentious, nor posh - they were from somewhere like Mozambique and therefore it was ok, if not still very amusing for all the other kids.
I imagine as she grew up she rebranded herself to Nona, or Nina to take the burden of having to explain yourself every second. It's something I only mildly relate to having grown up with an unpronounceable foreign surname, which I quickly replaced with my new very English surname through marriage.
So, when Kim and Kanye announced the birth of their son 'Saint' yesterday, I couldn't help but feel sorry for the child. We all know Kanye likes to think of himself as the second coming, they even christened North (another non-name-name) in the Holy land - such is the 'Yeezus' complex that surrounds him.
According to insiders, the name signifies the 'blessing' that their son brought them, following a difficult birth (Kim, take my advice - have a cesarean if there's a next time!)
But still, Saint....
On the one hand, I have huge admiration for injecting some individualism and originality into your child. There's much to be said for not calling him something samey like Christopher (take note Benedict Cumberbatch!), or Oliver - which 6,649 boys in the UK were named last year according to ONS. All lovely, if not very overused names.
But where do you draw the line? Is it ever ok to name you kid something they are surely going to be teased about, at the peril of creative license, and just because you're the biggest "rock star in the world right now"?
You just need to look at David Bowie's son, born 'Zowie', who changed it to 'Duncan' to question if Saint might just go the same way.
The problem with 'Saint' is that it's not actually a name. Much like Liv Tyler's recent child 'Sailor' is not a name, in the way that Lil Kim's 'Royal' is not actually a name, and sorry Beyonce we do love you but 'Blue' - no, I'm not sure that's actually a name either.
I guess when you're a celebrity, you want your kids to be original. You have some sort of obligation for them to be different. I get it. But, isn't growing up hard enough without being teased about your name. Also, what about the expectation that a child called Saint has? If you do something wrong, if you're naughty, if your caught downing Diamond White at the age of 15! Isn't it 100 times worse if you're name is 'Saint' - the child has a lot to live up to!
So, who got it right then? Well, Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel nailed it with 'Silas' - a unique Biblical name, not overused but yes - most definitely a name. Then there's 'Wyatt' a very trendy name given to the daughter of Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher, and thumbs up to Martine McCutcheon who christened her child 'Rafferty' earlier this year. We're also a big fan of 'Angelo' the first born to Adele, all proving it's possible to be original and interesting at the same time, and give your kid an 'actual' name!
As Kim is recovering from childbirth, perhaps she's even reading my blog, I'd like to wish them the best for the next chapter in the episode. Lets hope that their little Saint can most definitely keep up!
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