THE BLOG

A Poem Of Infertility

13/09/2016 10:12 BST | Updated 09/09/2017 10:12 BST
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Stop what you're doing, just a second

Pick yourself up from the floor

You're barely recognisable

Even you don't know you anymore.

Those big brown eyes once so pretty

They turn green, every new day that dawns

Who is this person within you

That cries, every new baby born.

It's hard for you to be happy

You're consumed by "why's that not me"

So desperate to give him a baby

Break these chains, be finally free

Right now you can't see a future

Or imagine your body with child

You're grieving for something you long for

Can't remember the last time you smiled.

On good days you manage to hide it

When womb pryers ask if you're trying

Another one line on your test today

Spent most your morning crying

You've so many people around you

Just a handful who understand

What it's like to want this so badly

The future is out of your hands.

All of a sudden a light shines

Amidst the blinding darkness and gloom

You realise it's time to start talking

About this elephant in the room

You usually talk for hours

But this subject forces you mute

Turns out, he's as scared as you are

Hadn't planned to go down this route.

It feels like a weight has been lifted

As you lay out your private life bare

Unburden yourselves from this secret

Infertility love affair

That moment, the start of your journey

This person before you, your guide

There's no guarantee what the outcome

Together you stand, side by side.

It's not how you imagined making baby

Forefitting your moments of fun

For injections and hormones aplenty

Be worth it when all this is done.

One day you'll be feeling hopeful

The next you'll question it's worth

But keep your eyes on the prize girl

This is why you were put on this earth

Your exhausted body is healed now

Your tired mind restored

Then a second line starts appearing

There's miracle babies on board.

All of the tears and the yearning

Dragging along this third wheel

Your tears of sorrow, now happiness

Pinch yourself, this is real.

Months go by, and you flourish

There's beauty in you to discover

Forgiven your body of failing

You got here one way or another.

Your prayers are finally answered

Overcome by feelings of joy

You screen shot his face in your memory

As you hand him his new baby boys.

It's worth everything you've been through

The heartache, tears and pain

Don't just wait for the storm to pass

Learn to dance in the rain.

By Stacey Hill, Kickstartbabies

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