I'm aware that my earlier blog 'How to Get Back in The Dating Game at 70,' didn't offer much useful advice because as you know if you read it, my efforts turned pear shaped. However, don't let that put you off because I'm a woman on a mission, and, as I say to my clients, there is no challenge without a solution. This means if I have to turn the world upside down to find a soul mate, that's what I'll do until he's licking Marmite off my toes.
Why Marmite? Because I know I'm an acquired taste and my mistake first time around was that I wasn't honest enough in my dating site profile. Stupidly, I joined the flock and wrote roughly what everyone else said - you know, polite tinkle of china tea cups stuff.
The last time I gave my real age the only men who showed interest were yawn worthy. I'm wild, untamed and definitely not a woman to cage. Therefore, this time I'm lying about my age and writing a profile about who I am in all my glorious colours. I doubt it will bring many suitors, but who gives a poo? I'm looking for one needle in the haystack and should my efforts prove futile in England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales, I'll tackle the US then make my way around the world.
In the meantime, here's the profile that's going on the UK dating site, (which at the top gives my age as 60).
'Everyone likes dining out, cinema, theatre and the arts. My profile isn't that kind and Conservatives are forewarned. The man for me is a risk taker, a bon viveur and imaginative lover whose life doesn't revolve around his grandkids. My man wears stylish shoes, can tango, is open minded and wants a woman with bizazz. Let's rent a Winnebeger and take off for the unknown? Let's try a vape with cannabis oil in LA to relive our hippie days? In Amsterdam, apart from Rembrandt, let's take in a peep show for fun? At home I'll cook feasts fit for kings and cover you in kisses, but don't try to change me and I'll show you the same respect.
My pics are recent but I'm older than 60. However, we're living in an age where the number on a birth certificate means nothing... If you feel and see that when you look at me, maybe you're the tango man I seek.'
Bet not many have written a profile like that before eh?
Not one to let weeds grow in my back yard, I have also begun research on the likelihood of finding a soul mate in the USA, and which cities have a surplus of over sixties men. According to writer Brian Faulkner, things are looking bleak.
New York has a whopping surplus of more than 325,000 women. LA is given second place with 140,000+ single women, and Chicago, Atlanta, DC, Philly, Miami, Dallas, Houston and Boston aren't looking much healthier so that's eleven cities crossed off the menu before I start.
The only ray of sunshine Brian has to offer, was taken from one of his studies, 'If you're a single woman looking for a single man in the 45-64 age bracket, Alaska is still a gold mine, so when all else fails head there, park yourself on a street corner with a sign that says 'I'm single and looking for trouble' and you'll hit gold.'
I know I said I wanted to find a partner, but standing on a street corner with a sign around my neck is taking things too far!
My sheer persistence nearly caused me to strangle a single American girlfriend to get her to spill the beans on where else I could look in the USA Eventually she wheezed 'Fort Lauderdale,' so if the UK proves a flop, my next stop will be Florida.
All I've got to do now is work out how to live there without using up a chunk of my savings until I snare Mr. Tango Man. That, however, is an inconsequential challenge for a woman on a mission and by my next blog on this topic, I'll be ready to dazzle you with my canniness.
How to Get Back in The Dating Game at 70.http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/stella-ralfini/how-to-get-back-into-the-_b_15383190.html