Disclaimer: whilst every attempt was made to have gender neutral toys and upbringing, this is written only from experience and just for fun!
1. You will regularly pull out a toy car or superhero when getting something out of your pocket, usually in public.
2. You will carry around a spare pair of trousers, at all times.
3. Whilst driving along the motorway you will suddenly shout: there's a plane/crane/train/yellow car/cloud that looks like a fish with two heads and nine eyes - and then realise you're on your own.
4. Kerchow! Kerching! and Kapow! become part of your daily vocab.
5. You become Super-Woman... or Batgirl... or Captain Marvel.
6. You have food on you at all times.
7. If you like cushions to look nice, be prepared to arrange them 179 times a day as they become dens, caves, shields, balls and secret hiding places for toys (after all they are scatter cushions, right?).
8. You swear you'll never, ever, ever buy into the whole Disney/branded theme toys and then become obsessed with online selling groups and scream (in type): INTERESTED PLEASE - then plead with the seller you were first in the queue.
9. Under whatever circumstances you avoid the toy sections in supermarkets at all costs.
10. You start to wonder why no-one has invented a self washing, drying and ironing robot that also happens to specialise in collecting Lego, putting the toilet seat down and convinces boys to put shoes on.
11. You realise that there is no point in doing your hair as it will either be played with, have food in or get splattered.
12. You catch yourself singing a song about poo.
12. You must learn every single character in Cars and ensure grandparents learn them too ('sorry what was that dear, Maker?') as they will be tested.
14. You are constantly looking for the latest favourite toy that has been lost or hidden (see point 7), be prepared that it is THE END OF THE WORLD.
15. You have an endless supply of cuddles (or at least while they're young).Suggest a correction