For years I have felt I live in a world where I am in constant competition, sometimes with other people (without their knowledge) and sometimes with myself. To have the perfect career, partner, home, life and to look great while doing it.
This week Sofia Vergara confessed in an interview that she feels pressure from the media to look perfect and live an unachievable life. Yes, that's right - beautiful, hilarious 'Modern Family' bombshell Sofia feels the same kind of pressure as you and I. Some of you might be thinking, "Well Suzi (that's my name), at least we don't live with media intrusion and pressure", but of course we do.
We have created our own on Instagram and Facebook. We are acutely aware of how well that ex-best friend is doing, who is managing parenting while looking hot and having a career, who is affording more than one holiday a year - it's all a bit much to be honest. I am a comedian, I am currently preparing to take my new show up to the Edinburgh Festival for the month of August.
For those of you who haven't been to the fringe. The festival is basically a trade show of comedians trying to get noticed amongst the 3000 or so shows that are there. As you can imagine Edinburgh can be a whole world of stress, worry and comparison, dealing with your own delicate ego whilst being judged and reviewed daily. It can be tricky, this is my third solo show and at previous fringe visits I have had amazing days and bloody depressing days.
Regardless of how the show has gone I have always struggled with anxiety whilst being at the festival. When I decided to take a new show to the festival this year I knew I had to do it differently, partly for me, partly for my partner who has to deal with late night anxiety calls, partly for my mum who has to deal with late night anxiety calls and partly for my agent who has to deal with late night anxiety calls - you can see there's a pattern.
Usually I get so bogged down in trying to have a great time at the festival I forget to have a great time at the festival. Not this year. This year is for me. Firstly, I have written a show that I love about a subject matter I am interested in (my wonderfully characterful working class family, our dodgy family history and my favourite personal f**k ups of the last 12 months). I have done the work I was meant to do - I don't know about you but I often get so worried about the amount of work I have to get done that I get no work done at all! I have been known to procrastinate over a punchline whilst watching 3 episodes of Orange Is The New Black.
That is not the answer; getting the work done is the answer. Finally, I decided this year, the year that I turned 30, that I would have as much fun as possible. I look back at my mid to late 20s and I spent so much of my time worrying if I was good enough, pretty enough, if everyone liked me enough, that I forgot to have a laugh, which is a nightmare for a comedian. So whilst getting ready to have the busiest work month of the year I have managed to squeeze in a brilliant hen-do in Tenerife, a weekend at Latitude (although that did include a stand-up set) and three days in Ibiza with a gang of legends.
In previous years I would have spent the 6 weeks before the festival buried in work, stressed out and sleeping badly but this year, just by deciding not to compare myself to anyone else, not to worry about the outcome and to embrace the fun person I know I am, I have noticed more work opportunities coming my way and have never felt more ready to go to the festival and be funny for a month. So Sofia, if you are reading this babe, may I suggest a sun lounger, the right amount of hard work and a night of dancing to house music in Pacha. Either way haters gonna hate!