I was sentenced to 10 years in one of South America's hardest Maxi Prisons: Devoto in Buenos Aires - a place where gangs would quite happily slit your throat for a phone card. How did I end up in that hell hole? I was caught with 200 kilos of pure cocaine....part of a 1000 kilo consignment I was waiting for; which luckily never arrived - as I would never have gotten out of prison.
Thirty years after the end of the Falklands War, Argentina's president, Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner, has launched a diplomatic campaign to gain control of the islands of such breathtaking hypocrisy she makes Jimmy Carr look like Martin Bell. At the UN, in the breaks of the latest G20 summit, every time she opens her mouth it seems, she's been accusing Britain of naked colonialism, demanding we hand the islands, and the 3000 British citizens who live there, over to her. Colonialism - that's rich, coming from a country of European immigrants whose national policy has been to wipe out all trace of the people they snatched it from.