The truth is that the victim cycle is triggered when the relationship breakdown happens because we need to protect ourselves. It is an automatic unconscious response to a painful situation. The pain occurs because of the thinking that comes with the relationship breakdown.

Very often when I speak about taking responsibility for one's relationship breakdown, I'm met with strange looks, actually some of them are angry, antagonised looks that demand, "Are you trying to say that I put myself in this situation?"

So I ask you do we take to divorce like a duck to water? Do we give up too easily and too quickly once the problems and changes begin to permeate into our relationships?

What with all this hype around Brad Pitt banging on about his failed relationship with Jennifer Aniston, I've been thinking again about that old question of who copes better after a break-up: men or women?