The truth is that the victim cycle is triggered when the relationship breakdown happens because we need to protect ourselves. It is an automatic unconscious response to a painful situation. The pain occurs because of the thinking that comes with the relationship breakdown.
Very often when I speak about taking responsibility for one's relationship breakdown, I'm met with strange looks, actually some of them are angry, antagonised looks that demand, "Are you trying to say that I put myself in this situation?"
Dear British politics,
This isn't an easy thing for me to say; but I think we should see other people. I wish I could spin you the whole 'it's not you, it's me' line but, well, it's you. It's totally you.
The Mafia are leaving the music scene as one of the most successful trance groups in history, cementing their status with a song that screams of anthemic melodies and is echoing across clubs and radio playlists from Stockholm to Sydney and Brussels to Beijing.
"I think it's the first time a Twitter fight went viral," Janey told me, "and I got lots of interest from the big agencies and news folk and it opened a debate about personal privacy because I had used the couple's real names.
What with all this hype around Brad Pitt banging on about his failed relationship with Jennifer Aniston, I've been thinking again about that old question of who copes better after a break-up: men or women?