What does masculinity mean today? What does it mean to be a man? There are so many problems with this question. The real point of enquiry - given that gender is a construct! - should be this: who have we allowed to dictate to us what this void we call masculinity is? The answer: idiots.

One of the immutable laws of travel is that once removed from their country of origin almost all souvenirs become ugly and pointless. Paella dishes look authentic in Spanish kitchens. Get it home to wherever home is, give it five days and it's living in the attic or on its way to the next car boot sale.

35 years later and another jet-pack-free Christmas is upon me, but this isn't the only way in which the future has failed to live up to expectations. These days we might be able to get everything now, but how much of it is worth having?

Advertisers know that selling fantasy works and if Christmas is nothing else, it's most definitely a fantasy (I'm thinking the fat, bearded man who lives in the North Pole and has flying reindeer rather than the Jesus stuff here). But in selling the fantasy, advertisers perpetuate some truly awful stereotypes.

Don't worry your pretty little head, because I'm typing this on Dell's Della computer that is delicately pink to suit women's tastes, and I'm in a room decorated in a paint "for girls" ("but boys can use it too", which is really generous of the Annie Sloan paint company to say).

We are living through a time of endless choice and unlimited convenience. Whether we're deciding on cars, mobile phones, holidays or simply which sandwich to have for lunch, the range of available options can be genuinely overwhelming. Yet with so much effort dedicated to giving us what we want, and enjoying unprecedented levels of income, entertainment, and calories as 21st century Britons, we don't appear any happier for it. In return for having Everything Now, we have to work harder and longer. According to the TUC, UK employees work some of the longest hours in Europe, so it's no surprise that unhappiness at work is often cited as a major cause of this broader discontent.

Is the future of our flag in jeopardy? Has our flag become a logo that flogs cheap apparel during times of nationalism decided by marketing teams? If Scotland gain independence do we need to change the flag?

Being a 33-year-old exhibiting no signs of reproduction has taught me a lot about how far feminism still has to go and about the expectations of the current moment, expectations about what being a woman is, or indeed about what being a proper person is.