In his faltering English, he tells me he wants to take me out for coffee. I've loads of work to do and look like I've been sleeping on the backseat of a bus for a week, but when I cast my mind back to the bubbles, I remembering liking what I saw. Let's see how he holds up without the taps digging into his back.

The true currency of dating, the one you never really think about, is time. Whether you're buttering up a honey in a noisy bar, doing extra lengths at the swimming pool to impress a buff lifeguard or stumbling through endless online profiles, the amount of time you spend on this initial process can be disheartening if the end result is less than satisfactory.

If there's one thing you learn when you're looking for Mr Right, it's that there's a whole slew of Mr Wrongs just itching to get in your way. It's like being in a computer game: you have to despatch bad guy after bad guy in order get to the goods.

You need a thick skin to be an internet dater. While there may be weeks where suitors are banging down your inbox, there are others when the only emails you'll get are from the dating site to remind you that you've been a customer for six months (already!) and must renew your subscription. Six months, and Mr Right still eludes you.