If you go on a quiz show - and especially if that show is University Challenge - you had better get some questions right. And you had better not get too many questions wrong. And if you do get some questions wrong, you should try not to get them too wrong.
This week, snow lies across the country, suppressing mirth and stilling the air. The land is quieted, as is our national spirit, for it occurs to me that something is amiss in these isles. What became of English rumbustiousness, what Jacobson has called an 'obdurate independence'?
There I am, on Newsnight, live on the bloody BBC talking about Lefty, my imaginary cancer character C-Monkey and boob-shaped cookies. Oh dear God. This was not another morphine moment. I wasn't hallucinating. I was sitting in a studio, in front of the legend that is Jeremy Paxman.
When newspapers, decent newspapers, make terrible errors they will print retractions, pay libel damages and move on to the next defamation. But, the BBC, like some religions, thinks of itself as being infallible.