Richard Herring explained to me yesterday: "I was told I couldn't use the words 'dick' and 'fuckinghamshire' in the 40 words. I wasn't too surprised about the 'fuckinghamshire' ("honourable member for fuckinghamshire" was the line) even though that isn't a swear word and presumably means you have to censor 'Scunthorpe' too.
I will be spending a quiet time at home on Christmas Day. I asked 'Digger Dave', a friend of the late 'godfather of British comedy' Malcolm Hardee if he had any memories of spending Christmas with Malcolm. Perhaps this was a mistake.
Joan was 84. I met her over perhaps 25 years. She was feisty, redoubtable and with a mind so sharp you could cut cheese with it. She doted on Malcolm and, when he drowned in 2005, it - as you would expect - affected her greatly for the rest of her life. She died from pneumonia, peacefully, in a nursing home near Deal in Kent.