Should I wax them, now there's a thought? Either way, I reckon it would focus the mind and I'd feel like a professional, for five minutes at least. So here we go on the next level, what ever that maybe and wherever it may take me.
The red-hot favourites didn't win, but that's road racing. After watching Team Sky's astonishing success at controlling the peloton in the recent Tour de France, it's obvious why the opposition was determined to stifle them at London 2012.
After just one day of the Olympics it is already clear that the coverage will be on all day every day in the background in our flat. It's a strangely familiar scenario, long summer days of sport half watched whilst decorating, writing, reading the paper, or... just about anything else.
"Have a safe journey home and don't get too drunk!" - the parting words of Bradley Wiggins, addressing the crowds along the Champs Elysées on Sunday, having just become the first Brit in history to win the Tour de France.
My bike has a new bell. It sounds a bit like a 1950s telephone; ringing loudly and insistently. At every reassuringly annoying 'ding-a-ling', pedestrians decide not to walk out blindly in front of me and even drivers abort unplanned turns. In short, it's fantastic.