"Have you read Fifty Shades of Grey?" my friend Aileen was leaning in, her voice lowered conspiratorially. "No," I breathed. "Get it. It's basically porn. Huge in the States. Fabulous."
There I was passing a shelf of specially-ordered Burns Night haggises at Waitrose in Canary Wharf when I overheard a woman speaking to her friend. "Any Scottish people I've known have always been really arrogant and loud," she said in an East End London accent. "Yeah. Big drinkers too," her friend nodded, picking up a haggis and eyeing it suspiciously.
There are more wannabes than ever - spewed from the money-making mouths of TOWIE (which, incidentally Jodie is rumoured to be joining), Made In Chelsea, Big Brother, Geordie Shores and so on.But of them all, Jodie Marsh is Queen. And I for one am glad she's back.