So what does this all mean for non-Catholics? Well, probably not a lot. For most people, Pope Francis is just another old man who should really be on a golf course in Florida somewhere, enjoying retirement. And yet we all tuned into the news when the signal was given that a new pope had been elected.
You would nearly feel sorry for the Tories. Almost. In a parallel dimension maybe. But the point is, things are not going well for them. They came third in the Eastleigh by-election which, to use the technical term, is bloody awful. Worse yet, they finished behind their yoghurt eating liberal bedfellows, and the granny privatising xenophobes of UKIP.
It's a relief to be able to call him Joseph. And it will be a relief once he's treated just like any other Joseph. It's been said before and it will be said again: there's a Ratzinger-sized space in Rome's nearest prison cell just waiting to be filled. The former Bishop of Rome should soon become the Inmate of Rome.
Pope Benedict XVI has signed off in style, with a James Bond-esque getaway from the Vatican. The 85-year-old hopped in a limousine before boarding ...