It is not a good look for our country to still have the Church as legislators. I can't think of a less religiously-minded nation in Europe than England. We just don't give a toss about being told what to do by people in silly hats.

Imagine every time you made love to somebody, you had Louis Theroux come up behind you and back you on the back. It'd be truly mortifying, wouldn't it? And that's just happened to this guy. I imagine the only reason he's still doing it is because he needs more money for his zombie truck

It's been just over a week since I declared my new-found sobriety upon y'all through this very website and it seems only right to update you all on my progress: I think you would all agree it's been a terrible week to give up.

This weekend just gone, a Sunday Times undercover sting revealed that if you've got the money, you can meet David Cameron for a cup of tea and a Kit Kat.