In another part of SW3, Binky was frantically checking her phone for news from Jamie, who was busily not getting in touch due to making 'magic' cake with his Kandy Kittens - the scantily-clad, red-brick educated women he's employed for his dubious business prospect.

It wouldn't be Made In Chelsea without socially incestuous relationships, and Monday night's episode was a trigonometry lesson of lust-induced interaction. With love triangles and double dates all round, episode two of the new series was full of Chelsea maths.

With the headlines surrounding them becoming increasingly unlikely, here is a look at some of the upcoming stories, hitting a tabloid near you (or not...