I have an unhealthy obsession with my birthday. I think I'm a birthday addict. The sight of a pristeen white envelope or the rustle of a wrapped present send me into a frenzy. I love everyone else's birthdays too. Card shops are my favourite haunts.
It's been just over a week since I declared my new-found sobriety upon y'all through this very website and it seems only right to update you all on my progress: I think you would all agree it's been a terrible week to give up.