THE BLOG

Can Living the Dream Actually Be a Nightmare?

02/08/2015 23:25 BST | Updated 02/08/2016 10:59 BST

Not long ago me and my partner decided that we wanted out from this stressful, all consuming lifestyle and we wanted to be free, buy a van and conquer the world!! Fast forward a year and we are living the dream (kind of!).

We bought the van, we spent the money on repairs, we packed up our goods, we said goodbye to family and we boarded a ferry to France. EEEEK!

The plan was to be as free as we could be, be hippies, eat yummy food, and basically escape society , banks, constraints, 9-5's and all of the other shackles that seem to be tying us down and preventing us from living the lives that we want.

We'd had a tough couple of years with the arrival of our son (who is now almost two) and it had taken it's toll on our relationship. I had suffered from pretty bad post natal depression which is something I still struggle with to this day (but more on that later on) so this trip was kind of our last chance saloon if you will. We figured that if we were living the dream and still miserable then we were in big trouble!

I'm a bit of a living in the future kind of gal, although I do remind myself frequently to stay present and I try to live in the moment. But this trip has been in my mind for so long and I've built it up and up in my head that if it's anything other than perfect I'll be disappointed.

We've been away for a month now and it's only now that we are getting used to be being around each other 24/7. The first three weeks were HARD! And I mean really HARD!! You have to adjust to one another's habits, temperaments, choices and it's not always lovely dovey and gazing into each others eyes because you are technically living your dream.

It can be a living nightmare and we've had some pretty big bust ups along the way. The one saving grace we have is our son whose presence alone makes our lives more than worthwhile and stops one of us from just walking away.

So we're taking each day as it comes and trying not to make the dream too much of our reality. We've taken the first step and I'm not sure what the next one is but I know it's going to be an adventure and I've realised over the years that leaving home and travelling to another country (no matter how exotic it is)doesn't mean that are no hard days, or bad moods or days where you wish you were somewhere else, after all it's still your life but just a little bit different and hopefully overtime it does become the dream that you wanted it to be.