I get it. A lot of the time, when someone of a smaller, 'standard' size (meaning, a more socially acceptable size that is deemed normal amongst society) praises a plus sized woman's beauty it's out of being sympathetic "Aww they feel just as good as us" - it's praising a minority out of sympathy. It's not really like we're all playing on the same field, It's even weird how amongst women in fashion there is an us and a them - standard sizes and plus sizes. When, why can't we all be seen as standard but different. Because I don't know, we're all different as humans but we're all women at the end of the day and shouldn't that be the standard in the fashion industry?
I'm a size 12 (a size 10 on a really good day), stand at 5ft10, go to the gym at 7am a couple of times a week; mostly do weights and some cardio, have a lean level of body fat and some decent muscle definition, I take my vitamins and supplements, I eat a generally good diet. I would consider myself to be attractive (I mean I look considerably better than my secondary school days) But honestly, I do look at plus sized models' instagrams and genuinely wish I had their confidence to rock that bodycon dress and look that good in it. Or wear a crop top, which makes me cripple with anxiety if I'm not wearing a jacket covering any inch of cellulite or stretch marks that seeps out of my jeans.
I find it funny and bizarre how beauty is relevant to a size. Since I'm the standard, I guess I'm supposed to feel like I have an easier time feeling more beautiful than someone who has a couple extra pounds than me. When in fact I look at the plus sized girls on Instagram and wish I'd look that good in that dress, then realise I'm smaller and should, but not necessarily.
Recently, I stalked through Tess Holliday's Instagram and thought she was beautiful with her striking facial features which made her look flawless and saw Grace Victory's swimsuit photos of her smiling on holiday that I wish I had the balls to post something like that on my own. Why does beauty have to be relevant to a size or a particular feature? That's like saying every of a particular race is pretty or any girl with brunette hair is pretty, which we all know isn't true. So why does the same go for size? Beauty is individually subjective based on what's socially influenced a person's schema.
Society has this warped conception of if you are fat you're disgusting. Nobody's worth of being should be defined by if they are a component of lipids. You can have fat; and some people have more than others but that doesn't make anyone less beautiful.
When I was 15, I was overweight and I guess I thought when I lost the weight almost five years later I'd suddenly radiate into this flawless, magical being with all the body confidence in the world. Mostly due to the media's proposal of body image. I feel like the media and society have this way of awarding confidence dependant on your size - if you become smaller, then you are suddenly granted more confidence. When, in fact it doesn't work like that. You could look like a model and still not feel as beautiful as someone who's considered overweight or obese. It's all sourced from within, from the work you put in to gain self acceptance and feel comfortable in your own skin.
Beauty is sourced from confidence to wear something that makes you feel damn good about yourself and self acceptance - to believe you're truly enough and be confident within yourself to show that to the world. It doesn't stem from fitting societal standards of beauty because if it did then I wouldn't be secretly wishing I looked as good as these plus size girls on Instagram.
Lesson learnt? Beauty has nothing to do with how well you fit into society's ideal of what is beautiful. In reality, you're as beautiful as much as you have the confidence allow your beauty to radiate for everyone to see.