Entries by theweemo

Anyone Can Be Famous These Days, Just Ask Kelly Rowland's Mole

(1) Comments | Posted 7 December 2011 | (10:09)

"It's the X Factor's biggest talking point!" The Daily Mail newspaper assures us between endless stories of other big X Factor talking points and tweetpics of No-listers and their recent weight-loss, waving into a mirror wearing a bikini during a Nuts magazine photo-shoot.

What, pray, could it be, Huffreaders? That...

Read Post

Desperate Scousewives, Leveson and Michael Gove: It's Not Been a Good Week Thus Far

(0) Comments | Posted 29 November 2011 | (10:29)

In fact, it's been a guilt-riddled week so far for theweemo. She located a peanut of questionable vintage in the folds of the scarf she was wearing and ate it. She danced to Rancid at a '90s night - at which she comprised 89% of the dance-floor. She...

Read Post

Being Mariah Carey's Twin Babies and Other Things Impossible to Imagine

(0) Comments | Posted 22 November 2011 | (23:00)

Everyone's second-favourite shrieking Diva (after Johnny Robinson), Mariah Carey has been off theweemo's radar since about 1999. Even then, she popped on only briefly following an incident on Stoke Newington High street, during which from the top deck of a bus theweemo watched as a tramp approached a promotional billboard...

Read Post

Marks & Spencer Celebrate Christmas...Cowell-Style

(0) Comments | Posted 9 November 2011 | (22:00)

Just when you thought Simon Cowell had bought up the remaining bags of human feeling and poked them cackling into the furnace which fuels his gigantic trouser press, the executive director of marketing for Marks and Spencer pops up with this depressing soundbite:

Our TV campaigns...for many mark...

Read Post

Important Life Lessons We Can Learn From Bullseye

(0) Comments | Posted 29 October 2011 | (00:00)

Shocking news emerged this week, people. And not the news that errant Tory political philosopher, Philip Blond, paid £165 of 'borrowed' think-tank money for The Stratosphere's Ugliest Chair. Granted, that news was pretty shocking. 100% taste-free, fully upholstered in fabric sporting a scantily-clad-chicks-on-motorbikes print. Monstrous. Even Lemmy would...

Read Post

Important Life Lessons we can Learn From Demi and Ashton

(1) Comments | Posted 15 October 2011 | (00:00)

To be fair, very little will achieve the miracle of marital reunification once you've set your groinal compass to south and hitched a disappointingly predictable ride to Cheatsville. '"Hot tub-worthy", early-twenties blonde, with a fondness for threesomes and bikini tops required to help celebrate sixth wedding anniversary!' Even a Premiership...

Read Post

Important Life Lessons we can Learn From Downton Abbey

(0) Comments | Posted 12 October 2011 | (14:46)

For many of us - especially perhaps Liam Fox this week - escapism is everything. From boredom. From endless Loose Women. From feelings of being as vastly unfulfilled as a Little Chef chef. Anything that escorts us from real-life into a world of excellent hats, special Socialist soup tureens for...

Read Post