When the Welcome to Holland poem was shared with me, it was a welcome relief. It explained everything I felt as a parent of a newly autism diagnosed child, but it still left me feeling sad and I didn't like the comparison of Holland and Italy. I felt upset that I was on a different journey to that of my friends and as Joseph is an only child, I'd never experience what they would. I didn't resent them but felt sad that we wouldn't be doing the same things. I am now more accepting that we're on a different path.
But on the whole, I think it's a bit floaty. Wishy washy, airy fairy. My feelings on it now have changed over the years and it needed to brought into the modern day to something that we can understand and relate to.
What about this?
Me and my mates were booked on an all inclusive to Mexico. It might not be everyone's cup of tea but we were gonna have long lazy summer days, drink cocktails and hang out. Maybe even have a few late nighters.
At the last-minute the stupid holiday company dropped a bollock. They booked me on a flight to Benidorm. I was absolutely gutted and was dreading it as I didn't think I would know anyone and I'd saved up my hard-earned cash for the Mexico holiday not Benners. I was slightly pissed off to say the least.
Anyway, when I got there, a load of old mates had flown out to keep me company. We were up late every night. Some days I felt like I couldn't go out again I'd had such a heavy one the night before. Swore I'd never do it again but was back on the lash the following night.
I didn't think I wanted Benidorm, but I keep going back. I'm still hoping for Mexico and there are glimpses on the horizon. It's not exactly a day trip though and takes a while to get there. I'm not saying I don't think about it, of course I do but Benidorm is ok despite what people may think. It's hard work doing it every day and I wonder how I do it sometimes. Who wants the slow-paced life though...?
*substitute Benidorm for Bognor or Barbados. Substitute Mexico for Margate or Marbella. It doesn't matter, the message is still the same. We all have different visions, ideals and life can throw us some shit moves. Don't be ashamed for feeling sad for what you thought you was going to get. Don't feel alone and don't feel you have to feel the same as everyone else.
We're all different.
I'm now off to get shitfaced in Benidorm..
Tina is mum to a 9 year old boy Joseph who has autism. She recently won the Bloody Awesome Parents (BAPS) SEND Newcomer blogger award. She likes to give an honest (often sweary) account of their lives dealing with autism. You can follow her here on facebook or her blog here.