The Book Your Skinny Friends Have Already Read - OMG!

10/07/2012 17:29 BST | Updated 09/09/2012 10:12 BST

Apparently, it's controversial. Apparently, it's a fad diet. And last, but not of least headline importance, apparently, experts are concerned.

It's a funny word, apparently. The ironic thing is how using it saves us from checking what's true, and what isn't. Apparently.

Six Weeks To OMG is not a diet. We all know what diets are - they're things that make us feel watched as we eat. And we all know that diets don't work. So, what have I actually written? The tip of the tongue temptation would be to spout out the perfect word-bite, and say "a way of life". You can relax, I've put my tongue back in.

To get skinny, you need to do a few things right. That's a few things beyond "just eat less and exercise more". You could still snuggle up to that, or hold hands with "low-fat food". You could even be charmed by the sweet talking 'balanced diet'. Clichés sit firmly in our minds, but they won't get us firm.

Our bodies are ridiculously complex things. Unfortunately, they don't come with instructions, and the inventor rarely makes an appearance. Our best starting point is research. The thing with research, is that most people never get to see it. Actually, most people don't want to. It's pretty dull.

We want excitement. Google Translate: we want results. And that's what research does, it finds results. Good scientists see what works and chuck out what doesn't. Bad scientists promote clichés, and really ugly scientists pretend that's all there is.

I used to be bad. I used to be ugly.

About this time last year, I decided to be good. I decided to write and self-publish Six Weeks To OMG. The intention was to 'get it all out', and put down in words, that which I'd known for a while, but rarely had the courage to admit beyond my closest.

The reaction was slow, then sudden, and then this. This, is surreal. 22 big-pond straddling publishing houses, asking to buy your book. It's a mighty pat on the back. Beyond the ego rub, it feels fantastic to have members of the public tell you they've been "set free" and "really get it now". But then there's them. The haters. The doubters. The don't tell them to keep sailing or they'll fall off the planet-ers.

The media sells sizzle, and conservative scientists provide the plate on which to serve it. Experts are concerned. I forgot to start that with apparently. The fireworks also dish up fad, craze, worried that, and the tabloid chef's special of the day, bonkers. Now actually, I read those things and smile. They are funny. Newspaper comment boards are hilarious.

But then my face turns sour. I think of the girl clutching her bag close. Guys, she's not cold. She's hiding her stomach. I remember the lady who didn't go out in daylight. Not her from Transylvania. Her who couldn't shift the pudge, and couldn't bear to bare. I pause to think about chatting with that metrosexual guy at the gym. Seemingly tough, but why did he whisper about feeling "not happy" with his abs?

The true controversy about "the OMG diet" is that it highlights how we've stopped being the bold, cave-to-computer, species we're still capable of being. We say skipping breakfast is stupid, and forget how we did it for 2,000,000 years. We call cold baths "ice baths", while research confirms room temperature water can boost metabolic rate by 376%. We nod at "eat little and often", and often look confused as our bellies don't get little.

Let's stop the fear. Today.

Let's ditch the safety in numbers soundbite of "eat less and exercise more". Let's look around and admit that ain't working. Let's embrace the shift in thinking.

OMG, let's all do something about it.

Six Weeks To OMG is available now on Amazon, iTunes, Barnes & Noble, Tesco, WH Smith, Waterstones, and all good stores.