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More Crazy Things Kids Say

15/04/2016 14:36

Over a year ago I curated a collection of all the weird stuff my kids had said during their young lives. It remains one of my favourite posts, and looking back over it still makes me giggle like a loon. My favourite entry from that chapter is this one:

At the Doctors:

Dr: "So is there anything else that's bothering you at the moment?"
M: "Yes, I've got these lumps all down my back."
Dr: "That's your spine."

The boys are now nine and seven years old and I continue to store up our more amusing conversations. My kids don't read my blog (yet). When they do, I hope they will thank me for recording the innocence of their childhood, rather than resenting all this exposure. I love you boys, more than you can imagine.

Here are some nuggets I've been recording since that last post:

[Key: V = me; S = Steve (husband, dad); C = nine year old; M = seven year old]

On family:
M: "I wish we could have a sister, a caring sister... I know how mum and dad can make a sister. Mum does most of the work and dad does, like, 3 things."

On the production of food:
M: "How do the bees make the labels?"

On Feminism:
M: "Boys are way better than girls because girls are weird."
C: "No they're not, girls are better than boys. It's just a fact."

On the city vs country debate:
S: "So where would you prefer to live - in the city or in the countryside?"
C: "City. It's warmer and there's better wifi."

On royalty:
M: "Are these fishfingers made by the Queen?" (I honestly don't know where that came from).

On branding:
M: "Do you know why this car is called a Ford? Because it looks like a Ford."

General observations:
M: "When you put a bottle against your ear it sounds like a goat."

On appetite:
C: "Food is my LIFE!"

Interpretation of a well known song:
M: "Doughnut think your girlfriend looks just like me..... Doughnut...... Doughnut."

On waking up from a deep sleep:
M: "I've forgotten EVERYTHING."

On history:
M: "If I was Pharaoh for a day, I would make a law that everyone can only go to the toilet at lunchtime." His homework was about Pharaohs and he illustrated his work with a drawing of a toilet. So proud.

On appearance:
M: "Mum you're really thin.... But only because you're lying down."

On intelligence:
M: "Does dad have a brain?"
Me: "Yes."
M: "What does he use it for?"
Me: "Work."

If you're reading this thinking "ha, you think your kids are funny, you should hear what my little comedian said", then please tell me about it. Share your funny conversations in the comments below. I'd love to read them.

I write a lifestyle blog at Lifestyle Maven. You can follow me here:
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