THE BLOG

A Proud Mother of Boys

21/07/2015 09:55 BST | Updated 17/07/2016 10:59 BST

I sometimes see unfounded and quite often thoughtless preconceived notions or comments bandied around about what it means to have boys or to be a mother of boys... ideas that brothers fight non-stop, are always physical, have low attention-spans, tend to be messy ( I see it about girls too-that they're not as affectionate as boys, moody etc..) and I would like to take a stand and remind others that every boy, as with every girl, is individual and unique and while there might well be some characteristics that ring true of each sex, this does not apply to all, nor should it determine or limit character or opportunity for either sex, even from a young age.

I know quiet boys and boisterous girls (I was the latter), no child is the same and I'm rather bored of blase comments that boys struggle to concentrate for example, are tougher to discipline or a common misconception that they can't wear stylish clothes: my kids' wardrobes are stunningly vibrant bursting with prints and cool cuts that quite frankly rock!

Can we not just let kids be kids?!

They must be free, and supported to wear what they choose to (or we as parents choose for them), play with what that they want, and simply be themselves without external pressures.

Yes that might be somewhat idealistic as other children and the media and society plays its part influencing choices and perpetuating stereotypes, but I want my sons to be free of those constraints and right now at 5 and nearly 3, they are.

My boys don't conform to stereotypes, they have long hair which they both love and don't want to cut, they love bold clothes, are both fiercely bright and fun, funny and thoughtful and love to pick wildflowers and brush my hair (and tell me I'm a princess), as much as they enjoy running outside, kicking balls and climbing trees. The latter three I love to do myself, and I've been known to climb a tree a heels before!

I do wear trainers though you know (enough of the stereotypes)!

Furthermore, my sons adore watching Tinkerbell films as much as Transformers and love to live life to the full. As they should...

Reflecting on pregnancy, I didn't have a preference when it came to gender of my unborn children; I was naively surprised when others did to be honest. I just wanted a healthy baby.

I think if anything, I had hoped for my first child to be boy, a mini version of my husband, to protect a future sister perhaps.

Then, after a traumatic birth with my first son, in my heart I'd hoped another boy would help me relive that time but in a more positive way. To get a second chance. Silly maybe, but experiencing a tranquil birth with my second was somewhat healing, and he looked just like his brother too.

It was rather magical and made up for the pain, physically and emotionally first time round.

I would of course, undoubtedly have been happy with girls and can understand and appreciate that many would like to experience both sexes, but life as we know, simply doesn't work like that.

I personally wouldn't want to choose the gender of my child, and never, ever feel I'm missing out by not having a daughter, and hope mothers of girls don't feel they're missing out, without a son.

I have friends' children who are girls in my life and lots of girl cousins I'm close to.

Each son is different too: the eldest, a deep thinker, mature for his age and my youngest is fearless, a born performer...

I always wanted children, to be a mother and it 's a joy and a privilege to have two wonderful boys in my life to call my own.

Follow Vicki's blog Honestmum.com HERE