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Only YouTube Can Save the Falklands Now

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During the international cock waggling competition between Britain and Argentina, the unfortunate Falkland islanders have sat quietly in the middle being ignored.

It's these 3,000 people whose fate is being decided by the finer points of international law and diplomacy and yet they only appear as the faceless child of divorcing parents.

In an age when our press likes to bemoan the increasing importance of Human Rights Legislation it seems that Britain's best defence of the Islanders is their right to self-determination.

Fuelled by patriotic fervour and a historic distaste for the British, this message appears to be lost on an Argentina still hurting from their last ignominious encounter with our beleaguered nation.

We're regularly told that technology is making the world a smaller place yet not small enough for the international power brokers to consider the impact their game of historical top trumps will be having on the islanders.

Perhaps it's time for the residents of the Las Malvinas to go viral in an attempt to reach out to the average Argentinean. It's time for the locals to pick up a camera and show everyone what life is like on the island.

I would suggest they create a tongue-in-cheek tourism video, one that knowingly plays on our national stereotypes and the quirks of a Little Britain abroad. Most importantly though it needs to help bring the territorial dispute down to a human level.

Start by showing the windswept rocky landscape in all its glory; lingering shots of its tree-less terrain surrounded by icy Antarctic waves smashing against these craggy islands.

The presenter could tour the island, seemingly unbothered by the gale force storm blowing around them, discussing its many sheep, boggy plains and array of lichens.

Then, and most importantly, talk to the inhabitants of the Islands. I imagine there is a woman called Margaret who owns the post office, a tour guide called Alan, Bill the fisherman and Janet who runs the local guesthouse.

They should discuss their love of a nice cuppa, custard creams and the importance of queuing. Next visit one of its four pubs to see the clientele supping warm ale and then show the delights of the local fish and chip shop.

Talk to the families; visit the schools, the peat cuttings and traditional Scottish dances. Perhaps the best way of ending such a video would be to explain that the majority of islanders are terrible at the tango, can't speak Spanish and would look awful in a poncho.

I'm not suggesting they morris dance in Beefeater outfits whilst eating spotted dick, although I'd like to see that, simply a little knowing humour and plenty of humanity could give some perspective.

For those argue over uti possidetis juris, continental shelves and Captain John Strong shouldn't forget that 900 people died in 1982 for the sake of pride and some isolated rocks 290 miles off the coast of Argentina.

The Falkland Islands are not an abstract concept, a historical debate or an investment opportunity but a home to a community of people for nearly 200 years. Until jingoism and oil are put to one side and people put at the centre of debate no reasonable solution can be reached.

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