THE BLOG

Boris Johnson Is a Very Clever Man

27/05/2016 09:10 | Updated 27 May 2016

We all exaggerate in interviews. Whether it's claiming that your worst trait is your perfectionism when actually it's your lack of punctuality or taking sole credit for a team effort. It's what makes internal interviews harder - you can't bullshit. The interviewers already know it wasn't you who introduced that new initiative and that you leave slightly too early at the end of the day for their liking. So you have to feel sorry for Boris Johnson- he's currently in the middle of the most important interview he'll ever have and it's internal. You see Boris Johnson wants to be Prime Minister.

Boris has decided the best way to become Prime Minister is to try and get people to vote to leave the EU in the Referendum. Boris Johnson is a very clever man. Boris knows that lots of members of the Conservative Party want out of the EU and he hopes that by campaigning for Brexit those members will vote for him. Boris' friend David is campaigning to Remain in the EU and Boris knows he needs to oppose the Prime Minister to have a chance of becoming the Prime Minister. Boris Johnson does not care whether we are members of the EU. Boris Johnson cares about being Prime Minister.

Boris Johnson is a very clever man. He knows that a lot of people who want to leave the EU want to do so because they believe it will reduce immigration. Boris knows that people who are scared of immigrants will be reassured by a well-spoken man in a suit confirming that they are right to be scared of immigrants. He knows that people who are scared of immigrants want a well-spoken man in a suit to confirm that immigrants ARE causing the hospital waiting times and the lack of school places. Boris Johnson knows that immigration is not the reason for hospital waiting times or the lack of school places. He also knows that most people will have forgotten about that time in 2013 when he claimed to be the "only British politician who will admit to being pro-immigration".

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Boris was born in New York. His Grandfather was Turkish and his Grandmother was Swiss. Boris Johnson does not care about immigration. Boris Johnson cares about being Prime Minister.

Boris Johnson is a very clever man. He knows the things that he has to say to make people vote for him. In his speech yesterday Boris Johnson tried to distance himself from the "Fat Cats" on the Remain side. Boris tried to present himself as a regular, normal-sized cat. Boris Johnson doesn't care about fat cats. He also doesn't care about thin cats. And he really doesn't care about poor cats or stray cats.

Boris Johnson cares about being Prime Minister.

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