Zoe Armstrong
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Zoe Armstrong is a freelance writer, raising a toddler solo. She lives in Brighton with her young daughter, and blogs about life parenting without a partner at Forthegirlblog.blogspot.co.uk, in a series of sometimes bemused and frequently funny posts.

She has worked as a journalist, and in media relations for a major charity, and currently shares most of her time between writing and looking after her daughter.

Zoe can be found on Twitter @MsZoeArmstrong

Entries by Zoe Armstrong

Bad Santa - a Very Modern Christmas Story

(3) Comments | Posted 4 December 2013 | (12:13)

Oh Bad Santa, it could have been so good. The Grotto, the elves, the sitting on your knee. Rudolph.

But sadly it was not to be. No. Instead there was screaming. Dear God, the screaming...
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So we went to visit Father Christmas in his grotto (Knightsbridge outpost). A...

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Maternity Ward Sales Reps, Ultrasound Parties and 3D Models of Your Foetus - Welcome to the Commercial Face of Childbirth

(0) Comments | Posted 5 July 2013 | (01:45)

So the campaign to ban sales representatives from postnatal maternity wards has reached critical mass. Mumsnet has spoken and an Early Day motion has been tabled in Parliament. People are saying it's wrong to badger women for money (for baby portraits, mainly) hours after they've given birth. They say those...

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Five Ways to Fake a Break and Avoid Parenting Burnout

(11) Comments | Posted 25 May 2013 | (01:00)

Before it was wrong, children often toiled alongside their parents. For their parents. Now we work for them. Like tiny benign overlords they preside over us. Arguably it's better this way. But sometimes, when my toddler rides me like a mule after 12 hours of one-to-one fun, only marginally so.

...
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The Indignity of Indiscipline (And Why Too Much Parenting Advice Leaves Me Bemused, Confused and All Out of 'Instinct')

(0) Comments | Posted 3 May 2013 | (15:42)

During a brief stint teaching, my shoes were captured and held to ransom by students.

I don't remember the detail of their demands, just that I was handed menaces, printed across a photo of my missing footwear, by a good-natured 17-year-old called Simon.

The shoes weren't taken by force, you...

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Why A Deadline Is No Friend of the Toddler: It's Physics

(0) Comments | Posted 6 April 2013 | (13:19)

The faster one travels, the slower time moves. We know this from Einstein's theory of relativity. So if something is moving incredibly slowly - a toddler putting on her coat, say - time must surely zoom along apace.

Finally an answer to the vexing question of why it is...

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A Moment Missed - Why I Regret My Nesting-Instinct-Gone-Wild

(0) Comments | Posted 25 March 2013 | (16:31)

When my daughter was four months old I decided it would be the thing to sell up and shift our new and amorphous life together two-hundred miles south. I should note that it was just the two of us - had been from the start. So the reality of the...

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A Baby and a Backpack in Paris - Why Travelling Alone With a Toddler Is Nothing to Fear

(0) Comments | Posted 13 March 2013 | (23:25)

It is written: travelling (alone) with a young child will inevitably lead to trauma.

Turns out that's bunkum. It's a far greater strain to have your world shrink suddenly at the point of giving birth than to witness toddler meltdown on the Eurostar*. Even when it's rammed.

I don't know...

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Ten of the Best Toddler Reads for World Book Day

(2) Comments | Posted 6 March 2013 | (20:42)

There is, I hear, a thing called 'extreme reading'. From what I can tell, this involves being photographed wielding a book in an odd - preferably uncomfortable - location. Frankly I can think of no better way to put me off my flow, but kids seem to like it.

It's...

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