09/06/2009 15:43 BST | Updated 22/05/2015 10:12 BST

Warning: Don't Let Brad Pitt Near Your Babywipes

You might think it would be rather great to have Brad Pitt father your children. There's a pretty good chance your offspring would be a bit of a looker, he has tonnes of dosh and, hey, think of the home help.

But what you might not be banking on is having to hide the baby wipes uncase he half-inches them. There's nothing worse than a pair of very sticky hands, yours or your kidlet's, and an unexpectedly empty packet of babywipes, especially if there's a drive home to negotiate. Eugh, sticky steering wheels, can't bear them.

Yep, it seems that the favourite pin-up of ladies of a certain age (8 to 80yrs) has a bit of a thing for babywipes. Brad's co-star in "Inglourious Basterds", Eli Roth, has spilled the beans on his habit.

Eli said: "After a scene, Brad had to get next to me for a close-up shot, and he said, 'Damn you're ripe!' I said, 'I don't have time to shower.' He said, 'Baby wipes, man, baby wipes."

And then it all just came blabbing out, allegedly. "I got six kids," confessed Brad. "All you've got to do is just take them, a couple quick wipes under the pits...Man I'm getting pissed on all day. I don't have time to take a shower."

So there you have it people, Brad Pitt has all that cash and steals babywipes from the mouths of babes. Well, maybe not the mouths, but you get my drift. And who'd want that? Lucky escape hey? I best you're glad now that you didn't accept his invitation to impregnate you after a night of wild passion. You got that invite too, right? It can't just have been me, surely?

Anyway, I've just the one tip for Brad. Brad, if you have to use babywipes to freshen up, make them eco, for you and the kids. Try either washables (you can even get bamboo washables) or eco biodegradable wipes like Earth Friendly Baby, recommended by a friend of mine. She says hi, by the way, and thanks.