10/08/2010 16:18 BST | Updated 22/05/2015 10:12 BST

Diary Of A Five-Year-Old: Old And Wise?

It's my birthda y soon. I'll be six which is the oldest I've ever been. I'm still not allowed to drive though which is rubbish. I'm not as old as grandma yet either. She won't tell me how old she is. She always says she is "as old as her tongue and a little bit older than her teeth". Grandad says being old is no fun but I don't believe him. Old people are allowed to do whatever they want as long as it's okay with the police. Grandad can't run very fast though and he sleeps loads. Sleeping is boring. Emily from kindergarten says when teachers get old, like fifty-three or something they are always in a bad mood.

Mummy says when we get older we learn things about stuff. She said I should think about anything important that I already know about that I might want to tell my brother about later when he gets to be as old as me. This is my list:

1) Every time you really want something in a cereal box that looks big and cool, it's always small and rubbish when you find it

2) When you lick a frog your tongue goes tingly

3) Jumping downstairs with your hands in your pockets is a bad idea

4) It's better not to hide Lego in the oven

5) Cats still have smelly breath even after you give them a Polo

6) Racing against Emily from kindergarten with my shoelaces untied is not good

7) If you put your goldfish in the river he won't swim back when you shout

8) Don't press 999 unless it's REALLY important

9) Don't tease swans

10) You don't always get what you want if you cry a lot

Hope I get a big birthday cake.