09/09/2010 09:15 BST | Updated 22/05/2015 06:12 BST

Achtung Baby Or By Eck Lass

I am a Northern Lass. I come from Lancashire and I'm fond of my Northern roots. Mushy peas make me happy as does good gravy on my chips and am frankly still in denial that anyone would wish to ingest jellied eels. We eat breakfast, dinner and tea (oh how I crave fish supper on a Friday) and yes, if it's dark I have been known to request illumination from "The Big Light". Here in Germany I live in the North too. That of course, you could say, is simply coincidence. I prefer to believe we Northerners tend to migrate in a Northerly direction if at all possible.

Should I come to worry that speaking German most of the time would cause any moderation to my Northern intonation, Finje swiftly alleviates any concerns. Happily, (when she is not talking like an extra from The Great Escape) she says grass not graaaass, bath not baaaath and bucket not backet. It would seem I'm raising a North English German.

One does have to be a bit careful though. We have some serious swearing moments in the past and whilst I do try to curb my outbursts, from time to time I fail. Fortunately for me, much of my Northern repertoire of profanities is not well known in Germany. So when I was recently approached by one of the kindergarten teachers I was able to do what I do best: Blag.

"Frau Nowak, as you know we all speak a little English here so when Finje does occasionally say something in English we usually understand her. This morning though she had us a little confused.She kept saying the same thing over and over"

At this point I began to squirm. You just never really know. My discomfort was heightened by the fact that as he spoke he was unfolding a piece of paper.

"We wrote down what we think she has been saying. The spelling is probably wrong."

With great reluctance I glanced down at the paper.

Bluudyel and blymee tcharli

It took me a while but slowly the penny dropped.

"Ah yes" I said,smothering a grin "That would be Finje correctly speaking in dialect. It's extremely difficult to translate. Almost impossible. I suppose something like, Goodness me, how jolly surprising!"

Well it is isn't it?