22/03/2011 16:10 GMT | Updated 22/05/2015 10:12 BST

Gastrotherapist Laura Santtini Answers Your Questions

Dear Julie

From reading the rest of your somewhat graphic letter it is quite clear that you know all about the birds and the bees. I am going to teach you an equally important lesson about the avocados and the bananas. There is little nutritional value in the birds and the bees if this valuable piece of fruit differentiation has not been digested. Fact is, some women are attracted to bananas when what they really need is an avocado, or to put it in cooking terms you cannot make a guacamole out of a banana whose nature is to split.

I can totally relate to this dilemma and spent a good measure of my romantic life blending bananas with onion, tomato and chilli with most unpalatable results. Finally in desperate need of emotional nourishment, I created a recipe for my life, a traditional guacamole with an unusual twist and a little kick, I married this quirky avocado dish and left the bananas for others to slip up on. Now you have the recipe for happiness make sure it is not your life that goes tits up!

Bananas are nutritious on their own, but this phallic fruit is usually served with other ingredients best reserved for high days and holidays, you don't need a gastrotherapist to tell you that a relationship based on whipped cream, nuts and hot chocolate sauce is ultimately going to end in tears.

Laura's quirky matcha green tea guacamole

2 ripe avocados
1 large red chilli deseeded
2 tomatoes finely chopped
1 small red onion finely chopped
1 bunch of coriander finely chopped
1 lime juice only
1 tsp matcha green tea
Salt flakes and ground black pepper


Place avocado, lime and matcha in a blender and blend to a smooth green paste.
Place in a bowl and stir in chopped ingredients, season to taste.

Serve this recipe for life with some steamed asparagus and a dollop of low fat crème fraiche and a big crunch salad. It is a different deliciousness to hot chocolate sauce and whipped cream but I guarantee that you will not have that sick feeling afterwards.

Never the twain shall meet... Photo: Christopher Scholey

Got a question for Laura? Please send cooking conundrums and domestic dilemmas of any kind to: