Lionel Messi, then. FIFA World Player of the Year and three-time Ballon d'Or winner, he's possibly the best player football has ever seen: fitter than Pele, less punchy than Maradona and a really nice guy.
But there is one thing he's bad at: diving. He never does it, constantly staying on his feet despite all the hacking and the kicking and the shirt tugging that his desperate opponents keep on trying.
Perhaps he's better diving in a swimming pool scenario. After all, we've never seen Messi execute a triple-rodeo double-tuck with a twist off a diving board before, though God knows we'd like to.
The thing is, there is an art to the dive - if executed well and/or horrifically badly. To prove our point, here's a diving footballs video gallery, which contains acting skills worthy of Stan Collymore in Basic Instinct 2 - something we don't say lightly.