I’m getting really depressed now. We’re two episodes in out of five, and nobody – NOBODY – is getting a grip. Just as David Tennant’s Nick managed to wander back from the lure of his teenage sweetheart’s tender embrace, and back into the wife’s good books (and sheets) with a simple ‘sorry’, so last night Paul (Ashley Walter) got to have his bus-stop bonk and eat it, after shouting at his bored, drained wife Michelle (Lacey Turner) that she was too cold (for that, read unaffectionate) with him since – guess what – their baby had been born.
Paul falls for the charms of a stranger Stella over his responsibilities at home
“What do you think it’s like for me?” she wailed in true Eastenders alumna fashion, but that was obviously a rhetorical question, as he’d already headed back to the bus-stop.
By the end of 30 minutes, most of it showing him in soft-focus smooch with Stella (Jaime Winstone), and abandoning said mother of child. Inevitably, this all went pear-shaped as well, with Stella selling him a hard-luck tale and then nicking off with his hard-earned cash, that should obviously have gone on baby-food or, I don’t know, a night out for the two of them.
Isn't love grand? Paul and Michelle are left to ponder their companionship
So… yes, he got his comeuppance, but not by Turner using all her Albert Square training and slashing all his Axminster showroom carpets in half, or even wandering off. Thus, this was all doubly frustrating – Michelle ultimately forgave her man who done her wrong, like some kind of Tammy Wynette figure as Hillary Clinton once spat out in an interview, AND he was a proven idiot. Which made her a fool’s fool for standing by him.
Is this really the state of modern love? I’m very depressed.
Meanwhile, over on the other side, the cameras finally caught up again with The Walton Sextuplets, six girls who came into the world 28 years ago, had the press barking at their door for a few years, and then made an un-royal retreat from public life. Phew – they were all normal still, and, most reassuringly, their parents are still together, six loads of nappy changes and night-time feeds and all. Now that’s true love.