You deserve to know the truth about contraception! The truth being that it makes women unattractive! That it turns men gay! That it makes men have sex with dogs and turns women into murderers!
Well that's according to a sect of Catholic nuns in Ohio, who have released a 13 minute video ominously entitled "You deserve to know the truth about contraception."
The clip warns of decreased desirability being one of the main side effects of using contraception, with the voiceover gravely informing us that men are "far more attracted to average fertile women, then they are even to supermodels."
"Contracepting", it continues, sees women "degrade themselves through immodest dress and action in an attempt to attract men who are confused from the lack of fertile women."
It cites a study from the 70s in which a male chimp rejected his sexual partners after they were injected with contraceptives, eventually turning to other males in the group, such was his "confusion".
Released by Come Unity In Truth, the video cites the deaths of between 7-12 million babies' deaths a year in the US, from a paper entitled "infant homicides through contraceptives".
It bemoans the levels of oestrogen in the water supply that are rendering fish infertile and warns we are "contracepting ourselves out of existence", before adding the entire population of the world could comfortably fit in the state of Texas.
Contracepting, it says, is the reason why people allow their passions to take over their reason, and behave more like animals than humans.
It is, the video says, the reason why one man on trial for bestiality claims his relationships with his dogs are equivalent to a marriage type relationship and should be legal.
The tape ends with the stark warning: "If someone you know is contracepting, tell them to stop. It will destroy them."
The findings, published in Obstetrics and Gynecology, come during the run up to the US elections and as a number of conservatives in politics and public care policy are opposing the Obama administration's contraception mandate under the Affordable Care Act, which requires most employers and insurers to cover birth control at no cost to women.
Moreover, a number of states have voted to withdraw funding from Planned Parenthood - one of the nation's leading providers of contraception to low-income and uninsured women - because some of the organisation's clinics also offer abortions.
"I would think if you were against abortions, you would be 100 percent for contraception access," Dr. James T. Breeden, president of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, said of the results.