Wicked Witch Dies, Oz Both Mourns And Celebrates

Dividing people in death as she did in life, the land of Oz is both celebrating and mourning the death of the Wicked Witch of the Right, who has died after the Ritz hotel fell on her.

While many Munchkins have lined up to praise their first female leader, others have rejoiced in her passing, singing songs like 'Ding Dong! The Witch Is Dead' and partying with The Good Witch Of The Left, Glinda Jackson.

All that was left of the Wicked Witch was a pair of shoes - which have now been filled by David Cameron.

Speaking from the Emerald City of London, Cameron said: "When a man's an empty kettle, he should be on his mettle. And yet I'm torn apart. Just because I'm presuming that I could be a human... if I only had a heart."

Cameron, it has since been revealed, was being operated from behind a curtain by Rupert Murdoch.

The Wicked Witch's funeral will take place on 17 April. The route will be marked by a yellow brick road.

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